Home » 16 Signs A Guy Secretly Hates You

16 Signs A Guy Secretly Hates You

In this article, we look at clear signs a guy secretly hates you. 

People keep a lot of secrets, and you may never know when someone truly loves you or hates you.

Many people will not tell you they hate you, well, except a child throwing a tantrum. So, if you think a guy secretly hates you, you should trust your instincts. 

However, it is difficult to decipher someone’s true feelings, especially in romantic relationships.

While some people may show you openly they dislike you, most will hide their true feelings, behind smiles, and fake politeness. 

Signs A Guy Secretly Hates You

If you suspect a guy secretly hates you, you will want to know for sure if your suspicions are right. Here are several signs you can look out for to know if a guy secretly hates you. 

1. He Doesn’t Make Time for You

When you like a guy, you will want to spend time with them. You will always make time for the people you love, no matter how busy you are.

So, if a guy secretly hates you, he will never have time for you. If you ask him to spend time with you, he will always be too busy, and you will never be his priority. 

If a person is interested in you, they will make time for you; if they don’t like you, they will make excuses. So, if a guy keeps making excuses when you want to spend time with him, he hates you.

Moreover, if a guy secretly hates you, he may be with you in person, but his mind is elsewhere.

So, if you want to spend quality time with your boyfriend and he is always on his phone or playing video games when he is with you, he secretly hates you. 

He wants to show he is there physically, but his mind is not with you, and he would rather be somewhere else than spend time with you.

2. He Doesn’t Prioritize You

A guy who likes you will put your needs before everything else, always hold your hand, and offer a shoulder to lean on when you need one. 

However, if a guy doesn’t prioritize your needs and wants in a relationship and prioritizes his friends or family, it may be because he secretly hates you. 

If someone truly cares for you, they will do everything they can to make you comfortable and put your needs first. 

For instance, if you need help with something and ask your boyfriend if he would rather go out with his friends, it shows he prioritizes his friends over you and secretly hates you.

On the other hand, a guy who likes you will help you first and ensure you are comfortable before they go to their friends.

3. He Doesn’t Make an Effort With Your Friend Or Family

If a guy secretly hates you, he will never make an effort to know your family and friends or the important people in your life. 

According to Rachel Perlstein, a therapist and wellness coach, someone who cares about you will make an effort to get to know the important people in your life.

So, if a guy doesn’t care to know about your family or friends, he secretly hates you. 

A guy who likes you will want to know your friends and family and get into their good graces so you can like him. In addition, he will make an effort to talk to your friends and hang out with them. 

For instance, I dated a guy for one and a half years, and he never met my family once.

The only time he met my brother, he bumped into him when he came to pick me up as we went to my mum’s house. Come to think of it, I am not sure they said three sentences to each other. 

On the other hand, my current boyfriend of one year knows all my friends and hangs out with them.

He has met my mum, aunt, and uncles and likes hanging out with my little brother when he visits. 

So, it is a matter of if he wanted to, he would, as Kylie Morgan says in her song. 

4. He Constantly Criticizes You

Constructive criticism is important to help us grow. However, if a guy keeps criticizing you constantly and there is nothing good you can do in his eyes, he secretly hates you. 

When you hate someone, you will never see anything good about them, no matter what they do. Even if you put your best foot forward, they will still find fault in everything you do

For example, if you do housework, he always tells you you did something wrong. If you make him his favorite food, he will say you didn’t make it right.

There is simply nothing you can do right, according to him. He will even say you boiled water wrong. 

If a guy always criticizes you, they secretly hate you and do not have the guts to tell you. They will put you down until you have no self-esteem left. 

5. They will avoid eye contact with you

If a guy secretly hates you, he will avoid direct eye contact with you. Our eyes are the windows to our souls, and looking into someone’s eyes may tell you a lot about them.

So, if a guy avoids eye contact with you, he may secretly hate you and doesn’t want you to see it through his eyes. 

However, avoiding eye contact may not be an accurate sign as he may be avoiding eye contact with you because he is shy and has a crush on you.

Therefore, if a guy avoids eye contact with you, look for other signs that he may hate you or have a secret crush on you. 

A guy will avoid eye contact with you because when he makes eye contact with you, you may start a conversation, and he doesn’t want to talk to you.

6. He Gets Angry Over Nothing

If a guy secretly hates you, he will get angry over trivial things. No matter how small something is, he will create a mountain out of a molehill. Everything you do will annoy him, and he will flare up. 

When a guy secretly hates you, there is nothing you can do right by him, and he will be annoyed at you all the time.

When you ask him what is wrong, he will say nothing is wrong, but the next minute he will be snapping at you for spilling some orange juice. 

A guy who secretly hates you will get angry at you to frustrate you because he doesn’t want to be with you but doesn’t have the guts to leave you. They want to frustrate you so you can break up with him.

7. He Doesn’t Include You in His Plans

When you like someone, you want to be with them all the time and will do everything possible to include them in your plans; it doesn’t matter if you are going grocery shopping, you want them in your plans. 

However, if a guy secretly hates you, he will never include you in his plans. He will do everything by himself, and you will always be caught off-guard by his actions. 

A guy who secretly hates you will make plans without remembering you exist. If you are in a long-term relationship, he may buy a house or a car without as much as head up to you. He doesn’t want to share his experiences with you. 

For instance, if you are dating someone, you expect them to tell you when they are planning a vacation or something of that sort.

However, if a guy secretly hates you, he plans a vacation and goes alone without involving you. 

8. He doesn’t talk about a future with you

If a guy secretly hates you, he will never talk about a future with you. His involvement with you is here and now; his future plans will not include you, and he will never talk about the future with you. 

So, if you are dating a guy and you have been going steady for a while, but he never talks about his future with you; he doesn’t see a future with you

For example, if you introduce a topic about a future together, like moving in or making some investments together, and he shoots down the topic, he may not see a future with you and will avoid discussing it. 

9. He Is Emotionally Distance

If a guy secretly hates you, he will be emotionally distant. You may spend time with him, but he is not really there with you.

He will be doing other things. Moreover, he will barely listen to you when you try talking to him. 

When someone likes you, they want to be there for you; they will listen to you and offer a shoulder to cry on when you need one.

In addition, they will want to connect with you on an emotional level and even open up to you. 

However, a guy who secretly hates you will only pretend to be present, but you will never have an emotional connection.

As therapist Dr. Jenn Mann explains, “When someone is emotionally invested in a relationship, they will be open and vulnerable with their partner.” 

10. He Doesn’t Support Your Goals or Dreams

In a relationship, your partner is your number one support system and should be your cheerleader. However, if a guy secretly hates you, he will not support your dreams and goals. 

Moreover, a guy who secretly hates you may even discourage you from pursuing your dreams.

For instance, if you tell your boyfriend you want to further your studies, he may discourage you by telling you it’s too late or you are too old to go back to school. 

If you want to go after a promotion at work, they may discourage you saying that you will work many hours and not have time for the home and kids if you have any.

Some of these guys who discourage you are guys with no ambition, and they are insecure. 

A partner who loves you will support you and do anything necessary for you to achieve your dreams.

For instance, if you have kids, he will take the kids so you can have time to work on your school work or finish a work project. 

11. He Doesn’t Share Personal Information with You

When you like someone, they are the first person you think of when you receive any news, good or bad. So, if your guy doesn’t share personal information with you, he secretly hates you. 

A person who secretly hates you will not want to open up about his feelings or his emotions to you. The guy could have a life-threatening condition, and you will be the last one to know. 

For instance, my friend’s husband was going through a financial crisis, and he didn’t tell her. After a while, the bank came to repossess the car and foreclose the house.

My friend didn’t know there was any problem until the bank came calling. She divorced her husband. 

What are you doing together if someone can have such sensitive information and not want to share it with you?

Relationships are about sharing and being there for each other. So, if a guy doesn’t share personal information with you, he secretly hates you. 

12. He Doesn’t Make an Effort in The Relationship

If a guy secretly hates you, he will not make an effort in the relationship. A relationship is a partnership, and you have to support each other. Sometimes the relationship is 50/50; other times, it is 80/20. 

So, if a guy doesn’t make an effort in the relationship, he doesn’t want to be with you. For instance, if you find you are the only one who makes all the sacrifices in the relationship, your guy secretly hates you. 

Moreover, if you are dating and you are the one who makes all the plans in the relationship, if you want to go for dinner, you have to ask him to take you out for dinner, or you have to plan and make reservations; he secretly hates you. 

Someone who loves you will make an effort to make the relationship work.

They will want to spend time with you, take you out on date nights, help around the house, and plan activities to do as a couple. They will also support you when you need support. 

A relationship takes work and effort from both parties. So, if a guy secretly hates you, he will not be invested in the relationship and will not put in any effort to make the relationship work. 

13. He Doesn’t Show Interest in Your Life

When you love someone, you want to know everything happening in their life, no matter how trivial.

However, if a guy secretly hates you, he will not be bothered to know what happens in your life; you could disappear to Mars for a week, and he wouldn’t notice. 

A relationship is about caring for each other, and caring means you want to know how your partner is, how they spend their day, what is new at their workplace, and how they are doing with their friends. 

After a long work day, it feels good when someone asks you, “How was your day?” This is a simple question, but it is very loaded, as you can start a conversation about everything that happened from those simple words. 

It shows your partner you care about what happens to them and how they spend their day. You want to be involved in their life even if you can’t be physically there for every bit of it. 

14. He Doesn’t Want to Be Intimate with You

Intimacy is vital in a relationship. When you like someone, you can’t keep your hands off them.

However, if a guy secretly hates you, he will not want to be intimate with you. He will give excuses or even fall asleep when you try to be intimate. 

Intimacy doesn’t have to be physical only; nonetheless, research shows couples sleep better when they share a bed because it creates a physical bond and helps them have an intimate bond with their partner. 

Couples also need emotional intimacy, so if a guy doesn’t want to be emotionally or physically intimate with you, he secretly hates you. Moreover, he could be getting that intimacy elsewhere.

15. He Doesn’t Respond to Your Texts And Calls

If a guy secretly hates you, he will not respond to your texts, and your calls will go unanswered.

On the other hand, when you like someone, you take every opportunity to talk with them. It doesn’t matter what you talk about; you feel good talking to them.

So, if a guy doesn’t respond to your texts and calls, even if he is always on his phone, he secretly hates you and doesn’t want to talk to you. 

16. He Blames You for Everything

If a guy secretly hates you, he will blame you for everything. There is nothing good you can do in the eyes of someone who hates you. 

So, if a guy blames you for everything, even things that have nothing to do with you, he is blame-shifting and secretly hates you. 

A guy who hates you will ruin his life and blame you. According to him, everything is your fault. Lightning could strike your house, and you will be to blame. 

Bottom Line

It is hard to know what is in someone’s heart; you may think someone likes you, but they secretly hate you.

If you are wondering if a guy secretly hates you, you can look for signs like; he doesn’t prioritize you, spend time with you, make an effort with your family and friends, or take an interest in your life. 

Moreover, a guy who secretly hates you will get angry over nothing, blame you for everything, and never support your goals and dreams.

Additionally, he will not want to be intimate with you, respond to your calls and texts, or share personal information. 


Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com

Leave a Comment

Scroll to Top