In this article, we talk about nine possible reasons why your boyfriend may not be showing you off, and offer suggestions on what you can do about it.
In a relationship, you want your partner to make it known that he is in love with you. However, sometimes you may find that your boyfriend is not showing you off.
It can be confusing and hurting for many people as their boyfriend shows they love them in private but will not show them off.
In this social media age, we want our partners to show us off on their social media platforms. If your boyfriend is not posting you on his socials, it is called pocketing the relationship.
According to Anne Duvaux, a certified coach, pocketing in a relationship is when your boyfriend does not post on social media and pockets you with his phone.
Research shows that 90% of social media users ages 18-49 see others posting about their relationships on social media often or sometimes.
This explains why it would bother you if your boyfriend does not show you off.
Reasons Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Show You Off
There could be many reasons your boyfriend is not showing you off. Some of the reasons could be innocent, while others may not be so innocent.
Below are some reasons why your boyfriend could not be showing you off.
1. He Wants to Keep the Relationship Private
Sometimes your boyfriend may not be showing you off because he wants to keep the relationship private for a little while longer.
He wants to keep you all to himself like a treasure. Do you remember how you got something nice as a kid and didn’t want to share it?
Well, your boyfriend has found you and does not want to share you with the world yet. Instead, he wants to keep you all to himself and enjoy having you before he can share you with the world.
When you share your relationship with the world, you open yourself up for scrutiny; your boyfriend may not be showing you off because he is protecting you from the world.
For instance, when I have a new boyfriend, I try to keep him to myself for as long as possible. I spend a lot of time with him in private before I can share him with the world.
For me, it is more romantic to get to know him without other people’s opinions getting in the way.
2. He Is Not a Social Media User
Sometimes you may want your boyfriend to show you off on his social media, but he is not a social media user.
Some people want to keep their lives out of the public eye. This is a very valid reason for your boyfriend not to post you on social media.
For instance, my boyfriend is not a big social media user; he is on social media reading posts and following news, but you will not find him posting. The funny thing is that we are not even friends on social media, which has never bothered us.
On the other hand, I have never posted any of my romantic relationships on social media. This is because I like my private life to remain private.
So, if your boyfriend is not big on using social media, do not force him to post you. The decision to post you is solely his.
3. He Is Ashamed of You
Sometimes when your boyfriend doesn’t show you off, he may be ashamed of you. This is one of the most dreaded reasons your boyfriend is not showing you off.
If your boyfriend doesn’t post you on social media and doesn’t show you off to any of his friends, it may mean there is something about you that he is ashamed of; maybe he thinks you’re ugly.
This may not always be the case, so you should not jump to conclusions; talk to your boyfriend to see why he is not showing you off before you bend out of shape.
4. He Knows His Family Will Disapprove
Sometimes your boyfriend will not show you off because he knows his family will disapprove of you.
Your boyfriend may have a hard time choosing between relationships and his family and thus chooses to keep you away from his family for as long as he possibly can.
If your boyfriend is not showing you off to his family, you need to understand and give him space to deal with the situation. In addition, he may need your support to get through this.
5. He Wants People to Think He Is Single
Sometimes your boyfriend will not show you off because he wants people to think he is single. This is one of the reasons that may kill you inside.
It’s possible that if your boyfriend is not showing you off to the world, it could mean he wants people to think he is single.
This may be because he fancies someone else, is not ready for a relationship, or he could be a womanizer.
If you are wondering if you are dating a womanizer, here are a few signs to look out for;
- He is too good to be true.
- He does not have any platonic friends.
- He is over the top with his compliments.
- He will not let you touch his phone, no matter what.
- He uses pet names and never calls you by your name.
- He has not been in a long-term relationship
- He does not want you to meet his family.
6. He Is Hiding Something
When your boyfriend is not showing you off to the world, he could be hiding something. Your boyfriend may not show you off because he may be hiding something or someone from you.
He could be hiding another girlfriend or even a family. For instance, a friend of mine was dating a guy who was very good to her, but he never introduced her to his family or circle of friends.
After two years of dating and only meeting two of his friends, we realized that he was married and hiding a family from my friend.
This was heartbreaking for her; however, it taught us to think twice if someone is not showing you off in his world.
If you suspect something, talk to your boyfriend and investigate what he could be hiding; if you are lucky, he will open up to you.
7. He Does Not See a Future with You
Your boyfriend may not be showing you off because he does not see a future with you, and he does not want to deal with the questions from his family and friends when you eventually break up.
For instance, if your boyfriend thinks he will not be with you for the long haul, he will not introduce you to his family and friends, I have been guilty of this in the past.
When I see someone and think I will not be with him for a long time, I do not introduce him to my family or friends. The only person who knows him is my best friend.
So, if your boyfriend is hiding you from his world, it will help to talk to him about his future plans to know where to stand.
8. He Likes Someone Else
This is hard to swallow, but when your boyfriend is not showing you off, it could be he likes someone else.
When your boyfriend likes someone else, he will do everything not to be seen with you as the other love interest may know about it, and he will lose her.
9. He is afraid of judgment
Your boyfriend does not want to show you off if he is afraid of judgment. For instance, if he got out of a relationship recently, he may fear that people will judge that he is moving on too fast.
On the other hand, he may not want to show you off if you have been dating for a short time. In addition, he may not want to have people giving their opinions on your relationship.
Moreover, if you are not “his type,” he may be afraid that his friends will judge him. He may think that his friends will think you are not attractive enough for him.
Related Reading: Signs He Is Forcing Himself To Love You
What Should You Do If Your Boyfriend Does Not Show You Off
It is frustrating when you are dating someone, and they will not show you off when all you want is for him to shout from the rooftops that he is with you. So, what do you do if your boyfriend is not showing you off?
1. Talk to him
If you are dating someone who is not showing you off, you should talk to him and understand why he is not showing you off.
When you talk to him, ensure you do it politely and try to use “I” statements instead of “You” statements.
For instance, instead of saying, “you never show me off,” you can say, “I feel like I should meet more of your friends and family.”
It is hard to be vulnerable, but you should have a conversation with your boyfriend if it bothers you that he is not showing you off.
Keep an open mind, and do not jump to conclusions.
2. Respect his wishes
If your boyfriend doesn’t post you on his social media, you should respect his wishes. He may not be into social media.
Moreover, he may not post you on social media, but he may show you off to other people in his life. So, all is not lost.
It is essential to communicate your wishes and listen to his wishes, too; you may find a middle ground that works for both of you.
3. Trust your instincts
Women have a sixth sense; if you feel your instincts telling you that something is wrong, trust it.
If your gut tells you that something is wrong, trust the feeling. Then, you can do your investigations to know what is happening.
4. Focus on the other ways he shows his love
Everyone has a different love language; your boyfriend may not be showing you off or posting you on his social media platforms, but he shows you love in other ways.
There is something that brought you together in the first place; focus on that. If he is emotionally available, treats you well, and is empathetic, focus on that.
It does not matter that he does not post you on his socials if he treats you well offline.
5. Understand his need for privacy
When your boyfriend does not show you off to the world because he wants to have a private life, it is important that you understand and respect his needs.
For instance, I do not like everyone to know my business and will not post or show anything about my private life. So, if your boyfriend is the same, you should understand and respect his need for privacy.
Signs That Your Boyfriend Does Not Want to Show You Off
There are many telltale signs that your boyfriend does not want to show you off. Some of the signs include the following;
- He does not introduce you to his friends – If you never meet any of your boyfriend’s friends, it means that he does not want to show you off. On the other hand, it could be that he is hiding his friends from you.
- He only meets you in your house or out-of-town places – if your boyfriend only wants to meet out of town or in your house, it means he is hiding you from the people around him.
- He does not let you meet his family members – if you have not met any of your boyfriend’s family after a long time of dating, he doesn’t want to show you off. It could be he is not proud of you or thinks his family will disapprove of you.
- He never lets you choose where to meet– If he is the only one who chooses where to meet, he is playing safe, so you do not bump into people he does not want to show you off to.
- You don’t go to his place– if you never go to your boyfriend’s place, it means he is hiding something from you or someone he does not want to show you.
- You are not on any of his social media platforms– if your boyfriend is pocketing you, it could be he does not want to show you off or is not into social media. Either way, he is not showing you off.
Related Reading – 10 Reasons Why A Guy Would Never Mention His Girlfriend
Your boyfriend not showing you off can be frustrating, especially if you show him off to the world. There are many reasons he may not be showing you off, maybe he wants to keep his life private, or he likes someone else.
When you realize your boyfriend does not want to show you off, you should talk to him to understand why he is not showing you off.
If he does not post you on social media, it could be that he is not into it. Talk to him to understand his wishes. On the other hand, you should trust your instincts. If you feel something is wrong, investigate.
Sarah Williams is an author at CandidHaven.com she is an expert in human psychology having graduated with an M.S. in Psychology.
Sarah has extensive experience in relationships and dating therapy having worked for over 6 years with different groups of people including teens, dating couples, and married people.
She is a lover of life, and self-development and believes everyone deserves to be in a fulfilling relationship. Sarah loves reading self-help books and doing research on human psychology.