My Boyfriend Games Too Much (9 Things You can Do)

In this article, we will be discussing your boyfriend gaming too much, the reasons he might be doing so, and something you can do.

Does your boyfriend enjoy playing video games? Are you concerned that it is becoming more than a hobby? You are not alone. Many people are getting addicted to playing video games. 

Contrary to popular belief, people of all ages are playing video games, from teenagers to those in their 60s. Many women complain that their boyfriends and husbands have been stuck on their couches playing video games.

Video game addiction is quickly becoming an issue in relationships as women complain their boyfriends and husbands ignore and abandon them for video games.

In 2018, The World Health Organization added “gaming disorder” to its medical reference book International Classification of Diseases.

However, the American Psychiatry Association didn’t add it to its manual, the DSM-5. Instead, it only lists gambling as the only activity with possible addiction.

If your boyfriend games too much, you may want to know why he does it and what you can do about it.

This article will help you understand why your boyfriend games too much, how it affects your relations, and what you can do about it. 

How to Identify a Gaming Disorder 

If your boyfriend games too much, you may start to worry that it is becoming an addiction. 

According to the WHO, for gaming to be identified as a disorder, “the behavior pattern must be of sufficient severity to result in significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational or other important areas of functioning and would normally have been evident for at least 12 months.”

If you are worried that your boyfriend’s gaming is more than a hobby, you should look for signs of a disorder. Some of the signs you may look for include the following;

  • He is irritable when he can’t play.
  • His performance at school or work has deteriorated due to his excessive gaming.
  • He may experience withdrawal symptoms like anxiety and sadness when playing is impossible.
  • Giving up previously enjoyed hobbies in place of gaming.
  • Lying about the time he spends playing video games.
  • He uses gaming to ease his bad moods. 
  • He isolates himself to have more time to play.
  • He is obsessively thinking about gaming.
  • He is tired all the time due to a lack of sleep.
  • He has migraines due to the long hours spent in front of a screen playing.
  • He may start having carpal tunnel syndrome due to excessive use of the controller and computer mouse.
  • He uses video games to escape stressful situations at work or school.
  • He may gain weight and even become obese.
  • He may start letting himself go.
  • He becomes less imaginative and creative.

It is, however, important to note that not everyone who enjoys gaming is addicted. Furthermore, the percentage of players who meet the criteria for video game addiction is small; it is estimated to be around 9%, both children and adults.

According to research, males are more likely to be addicted to video games as they play more.

Is Gaming All Bad?

Gaming too much is not all bad. Sometimes your boyfriend may be gaming for a good reason, not necessarily because he is addicted. So before you lose your mind over your boyfriend’s gaming, you should know that gaming is not all bad.

For instance, if your boyfriend is gaming because he is a professional gamer, he is gaming for a good reason. Pro gamers earn a good living, and they will be able to support you better and invest in your future.

On the other hand, your boyfriend may be gaming as a way of bonding. If this is the case, it will help if you join him; it will help you bond better and improve the communication in your relationship, as he may be more open to talking to you when gaming.

According to research done in a Spanish hospital, doctors may use gaming to ease chronic pain in pediatric patients.  Gaming helps improve the problem-solving skills of gamers. 

Reasons Your Boyfriend May Game Too Much

If your boyfriend games too much, you may worry. However, some people will say that you should not be worried because it is not drugs or gambling. 

If your boyfriend’s gaming upsets you, you may want to know why he games too much. Here are a few reasons your boyfriend games too much.

1. He Is Addicted.

If your boyfriend games too much, he may be addicted to gaming. Gaming is not yet recognized as an addictive activity by the American Psychiatry Association; however, the WHO recognizes it as a disorder. 

So if you find that your boyfriend is gaming too much and hiding the fact, he may be addicted. Some other signs of video game addiction include irritability when unable to play and isolation to be able to play more. He may also start performing poorly at his job or school. 

2. It Is His Way of Feeling Successful

Most men play video games to feel successful. If your boyfriend is always playing video games, he may feel unsuccessful in his life and look for satisfaction from the video games.

For instance, if things are not going well at work, your boyfriend may turn to video games to feel accomplished; when he wins a game, he feels superior. This compensates for the feelings of failure he may be feeling from work or school.

3. It Is His Way of Bonding

 If your boyfriend does not have many friends, he may play video games. The video games allow him to bond with other players, and he gets the male bonding he craves. 

On the other hand, if your boyfriend’s friends live far away, he may get time to bond with his friends when playing video games, especially if the games he plays allow teammates and chatting.

4. He Is Stressed

If your boyfriend games too much, he may be stressed. Sometimes when you are stressed, you turn to something you enjoy doing, so if your boyfriend enjoys playing video games but you notice he has suddenly started gaming too much, it may be due to stress.

If your boyfriend is going through something at work or school, or you may encounter some problems in the relationship, he may turn to gaming.

5. He Is Bored

If your boyfriend games too much, he may be bored. Electronics give a good avenue to fill in time when we are bored. If your boyfriend has a lot of free time, he may start gaming too much to fill in the time.

If your boyfriend plays too much because he is bored, you should encourage him to get a better hobby to fill his time.

6. He Genuinely Enjoys It

Sometimes the simplest explanation is right. Your boyfriend games too much because he enjoys it. Simple. 

There is no need to go digging and looking for explanations all the time; your boyfriend may be gaming as a hobby. 

7. He Is A Pro Gamer

Recently, video games have been taken more seriously, and competitive contests for electronic games have been introduced. Your boyfriend may be gaming too much if he is a professional gamer practicing for a competition or practicing to go pro.

How Does Gaming Affect Your Relationship?

If your boyfriend is gaming too much, it is bound to take a toll on the relationship. You will feel unappreciated.

If your boyfriend is always on the computer gaming, you will feel he does not have time for you, and you may feel unappreciated in the relationship.

You may also feel unloved; if your boyfriend spends all his free time gaming, you will feel unloved and ignored. This will lead to arguments and a strain in the relationship. 

You will feel disrespected when your boyfriend spends his time gaming and doesn’t listen to you when you talk.

When your boyfriend is addicted to video games and does not want to work on his addiction, it may break up the relationship. No one wants to stay in a relationship where they feel unloved and taken for granted.

What to Do If Your Boyfriend Games Too Much

If your boyfriend games too much, you may wonder what to do to get him to stop or at least reduce the amount of time he spends gaming. If you are wondering what to do, here are several things that you can do;

1. Do Not Join Him

If your boyfriend games too much and you would like him to stop, it would be best if you did not join him in his hobby. You may be tempted to join him in gaming so that you may spend more time with him. DON’T.

Joining him will give him the green light to continue gaming, and you may also be sucked into the void.

Moreover, if you join him in gaming, you will have a hard time getting him to quit later; after all, you also play, so you have no standing ground telling him to quit.

Moreover, he may not appreciate you joining him in gaming as he may want gaming to remain his “thing.” This will make you feel unwanted and may cause more problems in the relationship. 

2. Talk to Him

If your boyfriend’s gaming is bothering you, talk to him. Communication is key to the success of a relationship. If you do not talk to your boyfriend, he will not know what is bothering you. 

Tell him how his gaming is affecting your relationship. When talking to him, ensure you are polite and do not use accusatory language. For example, instead of using “You” statements, use “I” statements.

Moreover, talking to your boyfriend will help you understand why he is gaming and what gaming means to him.

3. Get activities you can do together

If your boyfriend games too much, you should try and get him to do activities with you that will take him away from the screen. 

You can play a sport or go hiking, where you need to unplug for a few hours.

4. Understand That Video Games Can Help Improve Problem-Solving Skills.

This may sound counterintuitive, but playing video games helps improve most men’s problem-solving skills. When he is playing the game, he is trying to solve a problem, and when he wins the game, he has gained a way to solve the problem. 

Problem-solving skills are transferable; your boyfriend will transfer the skills he learns in video games to solving real-life problems.

5. Set Strict Screen Time Limits

If your boyfriend games too much, you can set strict time limits on when he will game and ensure you stick to the time limits. 

This will help wean your boyfriend off the screen without the withdrawal symptoms of quitting cold turkey.

6. Give Ultimatums

Sometimes you may need to give ultimatums. If your boyfriend games too much, you may want to issue an ultimatum.

For instance, you may withdraw a certain activity until he stops gaming or at least reduces the time he spends gaming.

7. Ask Him to Spend More Time with You

When in a relationship, do not settle for less. It is your right to have time with your boyfriend. If your boyfriend games too much and does not have time for you, ask him to create time for you away from the screen.

8. Seek Help

If your boyfriend games too much, and you have tried all you can to get him to stop or reduce the gaming time, it may be time to seek help, as your boyfriend may be addicted to video games. 

A therapist will help your boyfriend overcome the addiction. They may suggest group therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy, among other things.

A therapist will also give you the necessary tools to support your boyfriend’s healing journey.

9. Leave Him

You may need to walk away from the relationship when push comes to shove. If your boyfriend’s gaming is taking a toll on the relationship and you have more arguments, it may be time to walk away. 

No one wants to stay in a relationship where they feel unloved and unappreciated. More so if they compete for their boyfriend’s attention with a controller.

So, if your boyfriend is addicted to video games and does not want to work on his addiction, it may be time to leave. Life is too short to compete with a controller for attention.

Final Thoughts

Video game addiction is real and has been classified as a disorder by the World Health Organization.

If your boyfriend games too much, it will take a toll on your relationship. You will feel unloved and unappreciated as your boyfriend will not have time for you.

There are many reasons your boyfriend could be gaming too much, including; addiction, stress, hobby, or being a pro gamer. 

However, gaming is not all bad; it can help improve the gamer’s problem-solving skills and may be a way of bonding with friends. 

If you are concerned about your boyfriend gaming too much, you can talk to him to understand why he games and talk to a therapist to help with his addiction; if he is addicted, and if all else fails, you should leave the relationship.

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