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Why Do I Always Cry When I Talk About My Feelings?

In this article, we explore the reasons why you cry when expressing your feelings, the benefits of allowing yourself to do so, and strategies to cope with it.

Do you cry when talking about your feelings?

If the answer is yes, you are not alone. According to Harvard Medical School, on average, American women cry at least 3.5 times per month, while men cry about 1.9 times per month.  

Crying is natural; it is a response to a wide range of emotions, from sadness and grief to joy. Crying when talking about your emotions is a sign of vulnerability and emotional openness. 

Some people cry when they experience all sorts of emotions. If you are like me, you may even cry when angry. 

Crying may also be a sign of difficulty processing and expressing their emotions. Just like children who cry when they are hurt and unable to express it in words, you may also cry if you are unable to process and express your emotions. 

If you cry when you talk about your feelings, you may feel like you are doing something wrong, especially if you are a man. Society has conditioned men to believe they should not cry. Society has taught men that they should be strong and should not be seen crying. 

If you cry when you talk about your feelings. In that case, this article will explain the benefits of crying, the potential challenges when talking about your feelings, and what you can do to manage crying when talking about feelings.  

The Emotional Benefits Of Crying

Crying is natural, and it is important. If you cry when you talk about your feelings, you should not feel ashamed for doing so. It is okay to cry. Sometimes we need a good cry to shed the stresses of the day. 

According to Stephen Sideroff, a clinical psychologist, crying activates the body in a healthy way. Sideroff says, “Letting down one’s guard and one’s defenses and [crying] is a very positive, healthy thing.

The same thing happens when you watch a movie and it touches you, and you cry… That process of opening into yourself… it’s like a lock and key.”

So, what are the emotional benefits of crying?             

1. Release Of Emotions 

One of the major benefits of crying is releasing emotions and restoring your emotional balance. Some people cry when they are happy, sad, scared, or stressed. According to researchers, crying is a way to help restore your emotional equilibrium.

When you are overwhelmed by emotions and cry, you feel better. If you are scared or sad, crying is a way for your body to recover from strong emotions. 

For instance, most people say they feel lighter when they cry; this shows their body has regained its emotional balance after an overwhelming experience. 

2. Relief from Stress and Tension

When you are stressed and cry, you feel some of the stress melt away. According to researchers, emotional tears contain stress hormones and toxins. 

According to researchers, crying reduces stress levels in the body as tears contain chemicals that help reduce stress levels. However, more research is needed to confirm this.

3. Improves Mood

Crying lifts your spirits when you are going through something that puts you down. When you cry, your brain produces oxytocin and endorphins, which are feel-good hormones that help improve your mood.

Additionally, when you cry, you take in breaths of fresh air. This cool air helps regulate the brain’s temperature, which is more pleasurable for the brain. As a result, your mood improves after a crying session.

4. Increased Emotional Understanding and Empathy

You are comfortable being vulnerable if you cry when talking about your feelings. Someone who is okay showing their vulnerability is also likely to be more empathetic and understanding of other people’s emotions. 

If you are comfortable crying in public, you will also be comfortable handling other people’s emotions. For instance, the Japanese believe in the benefits of crying. So they have crying clubs where people come together and cry. 

Sideroff says these clubs give people a safe and supportive space to cry. In addition, crying in a group validates the practice, making it easier to cry.

According to Judith Orloff, a clinical psychiatry professor and author of the book Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life, “it is very primal to cry in a group.

It’s great if you’re comfortable crying in public and there is [mutual reassurance] … But I don’t advise my patients to cry in a business meeting or at work. That could be perceived as weakness.”

If you are comfortable crying in a group, you will be in a better position to understand the emotions of the people around you.

5. Garners Support

When you feel down and do not know how to express your feelings, crying will tell the people around you that you need support. 

According to research, people are more willing to help someone who is crying because they see them as helpless. 

Since childhood, crying has been an attachment behavior; it is a way of obtaining comfort and care from others. It is known as an interpersonal benefit

6. Helps Recover from Grief

Grieving is a journey, and everyone walks the journey their way. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. You experience sorrow, guilt, numbness, and even anger during the grieving period.

Crying is essential when grieving. When you cry while grieving, it helps you process and accept your loss.

However, if you have been crying excessively and it is interfering with your daily life, it is good to check with your doctor as you may be experiencing complicated grief. 

The Potential Challenges Of Crying While Talking About Emotions

If you cry when talking about your feelings, you may experience some challenges. Some of these challenges include; 

1. Difficulty Processing and Expressing Emotions. 

If you cry when you talk about your emotions, you may have a hard time expressing your feelings. This is because every time you try to talk about your feelings, you will end up crying and not conveying your feelings.

For instance, if someone hurts you, and you cry when you talk to them, you will not be able to articulate your words and your feelings.

This is counterproductive because the person who hurt you will not know what they did to hurt you or that they hurt you in the first place. 

For example, when I get hurt or angry, I cry if I try to talk about my feelings. This has made it hard for me to speak to the person who hurt me because I will not articulate my thoughts and feelings, and I will end up feeling angrier with myself for crying instead of telling off the person who hurt me. 

Moreover, when someone angers me, and I cannot express my feelings and cry instead, I think they think I am a weakling and will continue taking advantage of me.

Crying when talking about your feelings is especially challenging when dealing with a narcissist; they will gaslight you when they have hurt you, and you will cry instead of expressing your emotions. This gives the narcissist more power over you. 

2. Difficulty Communicating With Others

If you cry when talking about your feelings, you will have a hard time communicating with others. Tears are a cry for help, but you will have a challenge if you cannot express your needs to the people who answer your cry for help. 

It is bad enough that you are going through something emotionally draining, but it is worse if you cannot communicate your needs with others.

I don’t know if this only happens to me, but when I have an issue weighing me down and someone comforts me, I tend to break down and cry. This makes it difficult to communicate what is bothering me. 

3. Fear of Judgment and Rejection

If you cry when talking about your emotions, you constantly fear judgment from your peers and those around you.

This is more so if you are a man. Society has conditioned men to believe it is shameful to cry and that crying is a weakness. 

Moreover, if you cry when talking about your feelings, you may put people off, and they may reject you.

Some people cry too much, and no one wants a crybaby. So, if you are a crybaby, fear people will avoid you because they fear that you will cry at the slightest provocation. 

There is no rule per se about how much crying is too much; however, when crying affects your daily routine and relationships, it may be too much.

4. Negative Self-Perception

You may have negative self-perception if you cry when you talk about your feelings. You may feel like you are too weak or a failure if you cannot express your emotions.

Crying is okay, but if you cannot control your tears when talking about your feelings, it may make you feel like something is wrong with you. 

Additionally, excessive crying may indicate a mood disorder, and this knowledge may make you feel like you have these disorders. This may give you a negative perception of yourself, and you may sink into depression. 

If you are in an environment where your crying is viewed negatively, you may also start viewing it negatively, affecting your self-esteem.

Related – 8 Reasons Your Boyfriend Cried In Front Of You And What To Do?

Strategies For Managing Crying While Talking About Emotions

If you cry when talking about your feelings, you may wonder what to do to stop crying. There are several strategies you can apply to manage crying when talking about emotions. Here are some of the strategies you can use; 

1. Identify The Triggers and Learn to Cope with Them

If you cry when talking about your emotions, it is vital to recognize your triggers and learn how to cope with them.

Triggers are the things that make you cry; if you identify what makes you cry, you will be in a better position to avoid them. 

Knowing your triggers will make it easier to manage your emotions. You will be able to know the signs and stop the pattern before you reach the point of crying.

There are many ways to cope with the triggers; they include; 

  • Walking away– if you identify a trigger, walk away and give yourself some time away from the situation, and you will avoid bursting into tears. If you cry when you are angry, remove yourself from the situation and return when you are calmer. 
  • Use props– if you cry when stressed, you can use a stress ball to help you cope with your emotions. The props distract you from the situation and give you time to compose yourself.
  • Think positive thoughts– when you are triggered and feel like crying, think about something funny. This will distract you and make you smile.
  • Breath– when you feel like crying, try to concentrate on breathing slowly and gain control of the situation.  
  • Blink your eyes– when you feel like crying, blinking and moving your eyes repeatedly helps you wade the tears away. This is one trick I learned from Grey’s Anatomy: look up and keep your tongue on the roof of your mouth if you feel like crying. I know it sounds stupid, but it works.  
  • Get rid of the lump in your throat– when you feel like crying, you feel like you have a lump growing at the back of your throat. You can get rid of the lump by drinking water, yawning, or swallowing.
  • Exercise– exercise releases feel-good hormones, and it will distract you from what is making you cry.

2. Finding A Safe and Supportive Environment To Talk About Emotions

If you cry when talking about your emotions, you should get a safe place to talk about your feelings without judgment. 

You can talk to a trusted friend or family to help you work through your problems. If you do not have someone close, you can talk to, keep a journal and write down your feelings. This is an excellent way to put your feelings into words without judgment.

You may also get a trained professional to talk to if you have no one else to talk to relieve your stress.

3. Learning Healthy Ways to Express and Process Emotions

If you cry when you talk about your feelings, it is important to learn healthy ways to express your emotions. Some of the healthy ways to express and process your emotions include; 

  1. Practice mindfulness through yoga and meditation. You can also take up breathing exercises to help you process your emotions better.  
  2. Learn to be vulnerable with your family and friends; they care about you.
  3. Do not worry about getting the words wrong when talking about your emotions. 
  4. Try a creative hobby to be more expressive.
  5. Convey your emotions through body language.
  6. Identify your triggers and learn to cope with them.
  7. Set clear boundaries.
  8. Do not seek validation for your emotions. 
  9. Stop overthinking.

4. Seeking Professional Help If Needed

If you can’t stop crying when talking about your feelings, it may be time to seek professional help. 

A professional will help you identify your triggers and give you the best coping mechanisms.

Related – My Boyfriend Shows No Emotion When I Cry

Bottom Line

Emotions are part of us, and we cannot escape them. Crying is also natural, and it is okay to cry. We all cry once in a while. 

There are many benefits of crying; your moods improve, you relieve stress and you release pent-up emotions. Additionally, it helps you rally support and increases emotional understanding and empathy.

However, it can be challenging when you cry when you talk about your feelings. Some challenges include difficulty communicating with others, expressing and processing your emotions, and fear of judgment and rejection. 

However, there are strategies for managing crying when you talk about your emotions. Some of the strategies are identifying the triggers and learning ways to cope with them.

You should also find a safe place to talk about your emotions and learn healthy ways to express and process emotions. 

Related – Crying Because You Love Someone


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