Crying is important for your health. It is a natural way of expressing and releasing your emotions. People cry for many reasons; there are happy and sad tears, and if you are like me, you cry when angry or frustrated too.
Crying relieves many people and shows closeness and vulnerability with your partners.
However, for some people, crying does not come easily. Some people find it hard to cry- blocked criers- while others cry every so often- over-crying.
Many men find it hard to cry. This is due to the societal perception that a man who cries is weak especially in front of a woman. This perception is one of the outdated stereotypes we should do away with.
When you cry, you feel better, and so does your man. Research shows that 90% of people feel better when they cry.
It reduces stress and also keeps the body healthy. Crying also helps you maintain your biological homeostasis, therefore regulating your physiology.
Research also suggests that tears have a way of ridding our bodies of the chemicals that we build up when we are emotionally stressed.
For some people crying is a way to induce physical contact with other people.
Putting all this in mind, we should encourage our men to cry more. A happy man is a happy girlfriend if you ask me. However, when a man cries, most of us do not know what to do.
So, why did your man cry in front of you? This article will share what it means when your man cries in front of you, some reasons he will cry, and what you can do about it.
What does it mean when your boyfriend cries in front of you?
If a guy cries in front of you, it is a demonstration of raw emotion and vulnerability, indicating that he trusts you enough to show his true feelings. It is a powerful moment and can mean a lot of different things.
Perhaps he is going through a tough time or is feeling overwhelmed by a certain situation. Or, it could be that he has bottled up his emotions for a long time, and is finally letting them out.
Whatever the reason, it is important to acknowledge his display of vulnerability and offer support and understanding.
This moment, while seemingly simple, can reveal a lot about a person and the depth of their emotions, and can be a turning point in your relationship.
A man should be comfortable and secure enough to cry in a relationship. If you are in a relationship, you should be able to let down your guard and be vulnerable with your partner.
When my boyfriend first cried in front of me, I was a bit surprised because none of my former boyfriends had ever cried in front of me.
But it also gave me a sense of security in the relationship. It meant that he loved me enough to show me his vulnerability.
Is crying a sign of weakness?
We deem men the strong ones in the relationship, which puts a lot of pressure on them. But unfortunately, our society has also taught boys to be strong and suck it up from a young age.
Unfortunately, small children always cry, and their mothers tell them to be quiet because “boys don’t cry.” So men grow up knowing they shouldn’t cry and that crying is a sign of weakness.
On the contrary, crying is a sign of strength, love, and trust. A man who is comfortable enough to cry is confident in his masculinity.
Crying is a natural and healthy expression of emotions and can actually serve as a means of releasing stress and tension, thus promoting overall emotional well-being.
Far from being a sign of weakness, crying is a testament to one’s strength and resilience in the face of difficult circumstances.
It takes a strong individual to acknowledge and process their emotions, rather than bottling them up inside. So, no, crying is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of emotional intelligence and maturity.
Reasons “My Boyfriend Cried in Front of Me“
There are many reasons that your boyfriend would cry in front of you. We have listed some of the reasons below.
1. He Trusts You
A man will not cry in front of everyone. If your boyfriend cries in front of you, it shows that he trusts you enough.
He trusts that your relationship is strong enough that you will not consider him weak for crying. It is hard to open up to someone and let them see you at your breaking point.
If he does this, it shows he trusts you not to deem him weak for showing his sensitive side. He considers your relationship a safe space.
2. He Is Baring His Soul to You
When a man cries in front of you, he is barring his soul to you. Crying in front of someone is very intimate; however, tears can be genuine or performative.
When a man cries, he is the most unguarded and shows you his raw self. He is finally taking off the mask he puts on in public and showing you the hurt inside.
The intentions of baring his soul to you may be another story altogether.
3. He Is Willing To Be Vulnerable With You.
There is no better way to show your emotional vulnerability than through tears. When your boyfriend cries in front of you, it shows that he is willing to let down his wall with you and show you his vulnerable side.
Vulnerability does not come easily for most men due to the conditioning from childhood that men are tough and should not cry, and crying is a sign of weakness. When a man cries in front of you, he is showing you that he is vulnerable too.
We expect our men to have all the answers all the time. So, when a man cries, he may be at his lowest, where he does not have the answer.
The tears may be tears of joy or sadness, but the bottom line is that he feels vulnerable enough to let the tears flow in front of you.
4. He Is Showing You How Much You Hurt Him.
Just like we cry when we are hurt, men also cry when we hurt them. They may not always show you they are crying, but they do.
If you are having problems with your boyfriend, he may cry in front of you. When you hurt your boyfriend, you will see his tears flowing freely.
You know that time when someone hurts you so bad, you can physically feel the pain? Well, men have that too, and all they can do is cry.
5. He Doubts His Strength.
When a woman sees a man crying, they feel humbled. This is because it is rare for men to open up about their feelings.
A man crying may indicate that he doubts his strength as a man. Strains of health issues may cause this doubt.
If, for example, your man cannot make the rent or is about to lose his home, he may break down as he is doubting his strength as a man.
Society has conditioned a man to be the pillar of the home, and the feeling he is losing his ability to provide may make him doubt his strengths as a man.
6. He Is Begging for Forgiveness.
Sometimes when a man cries in front of you, he could be asking for forgiveness. For example, when your boyfriend hurts you and is begging you to forgive him, he may start crying.
However, it is important to ask yourself what he did to warrant asking for forgiveness.
More often than not, men cry when asking for forgiveness to manipulate you into forgiving them.
On the other hand, your boyfriend could cry when asking for forgiveness if he is sorry about what he did, is genuinely remorseful, and wants a second chance.
7. He Is Manipulating You.
Sometimes your boyfriend may cry in front of you if he is playing the victim and wants to manipulate you.
Just as women sometimes cry to get their way, your boyfriend may cry in front of you to get his way. However, some men have mastered the art of using tears to get their way.
For example, I have a friend whose boyfriend threatened to harm himself if she left him.
He would cry every time she tried breaking up with him. And she would fall for his tears every time as she believed he would truly harm himself if she left.
This is the true definition of a man manipulating you through his tears. You are compelled to comply with his wishes as you fear for his well-being.
This is just psychotic, and you should leave and tell him to get professional help.
8. He Is Grieving and Needs Your Support.
Your boyfriend will cry in front of you if he is grieving the loss of a loved one; this is when he needs your support most, as losing a loved one is hard for him.
The most you can do for him now is be there for him. The pain of losing a loved one will not go away in a day or a week.
You may find that even months later, the pain may come in waves, and you will find him crying.
Support him and be there for him as much as he needs you. Do not tell him to get over it, as we all grieve differently, and the healing journey is different for everyone. Let me walk his journey and be there to hold his hand.
9. He is simply having a rough day
It is not uncommon for someone to have a tough day or experience a bad thing in their life that can leave them feeling emotional.
This is especially true for our partners, who may feel comfortable enough to share their vulnerabilities with us.
So, if your boyfriend is having a rough day at work or school, he may be more likely to cry in front of you. This doesn’t mean he’s weak, but rather he trusts you enough to open up about his struggles.
As his partner, it’s important to support him through these tough times and show him that you’re there for him no matter what.
What Should You Do When Your Boyfriend Cries in Front of You?
When your boyfriend cries in front of you, you may not know what to do as you may not have experienced this before.
But worry not. Here are some things you should do when your boyfriend cries in front of you.
1. Do not ask him questions.
When your boyfriend is crying in front of you, do not bombard him with questions. Do not keep asking him what is wrong and why he is crying in front you. He will feel uncomfortable and may break even more.
Give him some time to let out and deal with it. It is important to understand that he is not in the right shape to answer the questions.
For instance, when I am crying and someone asks me what is wrong, I cry much more. This is because I cannot talk when crying and prefer to be left alone to deal with my feelings first. The same case applies to most people.
The best time to ask questions is after he calms down and can talk. Then he may be able to explain why he was crying, and you can see how to help him.
2. Listen to him
According to Daniel Conn, a relationship and dating coach, the best thing you can do for a person who is crying is sit and listen to him.
When your boyfriend is crying, he is going through a lot of emotions, and all he wants at that point is someone he can trust to share them.
Sit and listen without judgment and without asking too many questions. Just be there for them as they pour out their heart.
Most of the time, the person wants to vent and is not looking for any advice per se.
It is already hard for men to cry in front of you, so the best you can do is listen as he trusts you enough to show his feelings. So be there till he calms down.
3. Console him
When your boyfriend is crying in front of you, you should console him. He trusts you enough to show you his vulnerability. Sit with him and help him work through his emotions.
Show him that you care and recognize his feelings. You can hug him and hold him close until he calms down. You can also kiss him and do anything to make him feel better.
When someone is crying, do not rush them. Instead, let them take their time to work through it all and be there until they feel better.
4. Do not laugh it off.
Society has conditioned us that men are strong and they should not cry in front of a woman. So, do not laugh it off when you see your boyfriend crying in front of you.
This is the worst thing you can do as that person may never be vulnerable again and may hold in their emotions henceforth.
The person is already going through a lot, and you are his safe place, so please be the safe space he needs you to be at this particular moment. The least you can do is be empathetic and give him your ear for a few minutes.
If you think he is crying for a petty reason, keep it to yourself. This is not the time to tell him; you can discuss it later when he calms down and is better.
Related – My Boyfriend Shows No Emotion When I Cry
Final thoughts on “My boyfriend cried in front of me”
Crying is therapeutic for most people and is no different for the men in our lives. Therefore, your boyfriend may cry in front of you for many reasons.
Some reasons may be genuine, while sometimes he may be manipulating you.
However, it takes courage for your boyfriend to crying in front of you, it shows that he trusts you and is comfortable being vulnerable with you.
You should console him and listen to him without judgment and without asking too many questions.
This is the best you can do for him in these circumstances, and most importantly, don’t laugh it off.
Sarah Williams is an author at CandidHaven.com she is an expert in human psychology having graduated with an M.S. in Psychology.
Sarah has extensive experience in relationships and dating therapy having worked for over 6 years with different groups of people including teens, dating couples, and married people.
She is a lover of life, and self-development and believes everyone deserves to be in a fulfilling relationship. Sarah loves reading self-help books and doing research on human psychology.