If you have watched the popular sitcom Friends, you know all about being on breaks in relationships. Were Racheal and Ross on a break, in your opinion?
Sometimes when you are in a relationship, all is well until it is not, and you decide to take a break.
When most people are on breaks in relationships, the last person they want to see is their partner. However, after some time, you may start missing your boyfriend.
People have various reasons for taking breaks in relationships. It would help if you considered why you needed the break in the first place. Were you overwhelmed? Did you need to figure out your feelings? Were you insecure?
If you took a break to figure out your feelings and you start missing your boyfriend, your plan is working; you should consider calling it off.
This article will help you understand all about missing your boyfriend while you are on a break, what to do when you miss him, and how to make him miss you back. Read on to learn more.
What Does Taking A Break Mean?
So, what does taking a break mean? Taking a break is hitting the pause button on a relationship. You take a step back from the relationship and analyze what the relationship means to both of you.
A break is different from a breakup because you plan on getting back together with your boyfriend. Samantha Burns, couple therapist and author of Breaking Up and Bouncing Back Up, says, “What differentiates a relationship break from a true breakup is that you usually have intentions of getting back together.
It’s a way to hit pause and then come back together after gaining clarity, or taking time for personal improvements and self-growth.”
A break may mean different things to different couples. It may mean; a physical separation, especially if you live together, limited or no communication, or a change of the rules of your relationship.
When should you take a break from a relationship, you ask?
- When something destabilizing happens– you can decide to take a break if something happens to destabilize your relationship. For instance, if you find out your partner cheated, you may take a break to determine if you want to continue the relationship.
- You need to work on yourself– if you feel you are not in the right place in life or the place you would like to be, you can take a break from a relationship to work on yourself and improve yourself. For instance, if you want to progress in your career, or you want to finish school, or move out of your parent’s house.
- If you are worried he is not the right person for you– if you have some doubts about your partner and whether you are right for each other but stay out of fear of being alone, you can take a break to figure out if you are right for each other. According to Anita Chlipala, a marriage therapist, if you stay in a relationship because you fear being alone, you should take a break, and then you will realize it is not as bad as you thought it would be.
What To Do If You Miss Your Boyfriend When You Are On A Break
When you are on a break, you may start missing your boyfriend; this is perfectly okay because you wanted the break to figure out your feelings for each other.
However, when you start missing your boyfriend, you may wonder what to do as you are not talking as much as you wish or at all.
Here are some things you can do if you are wondering what to do when you miss your boyfriend and are on a break.
1. Stay busy
When you are on a break with your boyfriend, you will have a lot of free time on your hands. Unfortunately, with all this free time, you will find yourself missing him. To avoid missing him so much, you should try and stay busy.
Fill your time with activities and ensure you do not have time to feel lonely and sad.
This is the perfect time to go for that trip you have been postponing or learn that new skill. If you have not been to your parents for a while, take this time to spend with family and friends.
Focus on other aspects of your life. Indulge in your hobbies and pick up a new hobby along the way. Have fun with your friends.
2. Pamper Yourself
When you have been with someone for a long time, you will miss him when you are on a break. So there will be a lot of feelings and thoughts going through your mind when you are on a break.
Take a break from all the feelings and thoughts, no pun intended. Go for a spa day, have a massage, let go, and let someone pamper the stress out of you.
Relax and have a glass of wine as you have your nails done; go out for ice cream with your girlfriends; you deserve it.
Love yourself as you should and as you would want your boyfriend to love you; after all, no one can love you better than you can love yourself. This is your time, shine baby girl; you deserve everything good and then some.
3. Talk To Someone About Missing Him
When you are on a break and miss your boyfriend, you will want to talk to someone about it. Get a trusted friend and tell them your feelings.
Talking about your feelings will make you feel better if you are anything like me. Your friends may also help you see the situation from a different perspective.
You may feel as if the world is against you when you are on a break with your boyfriend but remember; you can always ask for help.
If you need a shoulder to lean on, get a friend and share what’s bothering you. There is no shame in needing help; it is okay to feel overwhelmed. Cry if you need to, It is okay to cry if you miss someone you love.
4. Distract Yourself
If you love your boyfriend and you are on a break, missing him is inevitable, hard as you might try. However, you can find ways to distract yourself when you start missing so you cannot be overwhelmed by the feelings.
You can go for a walk and get out of the surroundings that remind you of him. Of course, this is easier said than done, but try to think of other things instead of him.
When you find yourself thinking about your boyfriend, you can call your friends and talk about something other than him.
This will help you keep him out of your mind as much as possible and hopefully not miss him too much.
If you miss your boyfriend, try doing some exercises to help you distract yourself. The exercises will help you release some feel-good hormones in the brain to help elevate your mood. Bonus point, you will look amazing.
5. Feel Your Feelings
It is okay to feel your feelings sometimes; ignoring the pain of missing your boyfriend while on a break may not always be the best approach. Instead, have time to sit with your feelings and let them wash over you. Again, it is okay to feel your feelings.
According to research, accepting negative emotions helps relieve the distress they cause. Conversely, avoiding your feelings may have bad effects and may even lead to depression.
So, let the tears flow when you miss your boyfriend while on a break if you need to cry. Missing him shows you love him, and it may be time to hit the play button on your relationship.
How To Make Your Boyfriend Miss You When You Are On a Break
If you are on a break and you miss your boyfriend, you will want him to miss you back; this is the only way you will get back together after all.
So, what can you do to make your boyfriend miss you back when you are on a break? Here are ways to make your boyfriend miss you.
1. Live Your Life
Being on a break can be a bummer, and having people tell you to live your best life when feeling down is easier said than done.
However, if you want to make your boyfriend miss you when you are on a break, you should go out and be the best version of yourself.
Instead of sitting at home and willing the phone to ring while you drown yourself in the third tub of ice cream, go out.
Have a day with your friends, have fun, and do all the things you do not have the time or freedom to do.
Take up new hobbies and do the things you have been afraid of doing. That zip-lining adventure you were afraid of taking, this is the time.
Stay focused on your goal, and don’t wallow in pain. Finish that project sitting in your garage, finish your school or work projects, and shoot for the promotion you have been desiring; this is your time to push yourself and shine.
If you are anything like me, you will have all your projects finished when you get back with your boyfriend. When I am on break or break up with someone, I tend to indulge myself in projects.
I do everything I would have wanted to do to distract myself from thinking about them. One time I went back to school and got a degree after a breakup, so go and be the best version of yourself.
2. Do Not Contact Him
If you are on a break, refrain from contacting your boyfriend. It is easy to fall back into the routine of calling and texting your boyfriend all the time.
However, if you want your boyfriend to miss him, do not contact him. This will keep him wondering why you are not texting him, making him miss you.
3. Do Not Post Too Much On Social Media
When you are on break, do not post too much of what is happening in your life on social media. Your boyfriend will be all over your social media following your actions.
If you do not post what you are doing, it will keep him wondering, and he will miss you and contact you to know what you have been up to.
Out of experience, I know it kills men when they don’t know what you are up to, even when you are on a break or broken up.
I once had an ex ask my cleaning lady what I was up to, he left me when I had just lost my job, and he asked if I got a job yet, what I had been doing, and so forth.
You can show a little of yourself living your best life on social media to show him that you are not wallowing in pain at home but don’t post too much.
So, not posting on social media will deny your boyfriend an avenue to your life, and it will kill him inside, so he will end up contacting you.
4. Make Him Jealous
If the rules of your break allow you to meet with your boyfriend once in a while, you can use the opportunity to make him jealous.
Men hate it when other people look at their girlfriends. So, if you go out with him, look your best; people are bound to compliment and look at you.
If another man compliments you, smile, and appreciate the compliment, this will kill your boyfriend, and he will see that you are desirable to other people, and he will not want anyone else to have you.
On the other hand, you can use the “accidental” pocket dial. When you are with your friend having the time of your life, call him and leave the call on for a while as you laugh, have fun, and then hang up. Text him later and apologize for the “accidental” pocket dial.
Hearing you having fun without him will make him jealous. If there were men’s voices in the background, it would be a bonus as he would see what he is missing.
Men are like kids; they do not want to see other people play with their toys. If you make him jealous, he will miss you and start contacting you more, and before you know it, the break is over.
5. Leave Him Alone
I know this is counterintuitive because you want him to miss you. However, you can use reverse psychology on him to make him miss you.
Men want what they can’t have, or at least something they work hard to get. When you leave him to live his life, he will wonder what you are doing and why you are not contacting him. He will realize his life is empty without you and will want you back.
It will also help him realize you are confident enough to live without him and will not cling to him. Show him that being with you will not be a prison, and he can live his life even if he is in a relationship with you.
6. Keep The Conversations Short
If the rules of your break allow communication, keep the conversation short.
Be polite but keep the conversation as short as possible. Be elusive; this will make your boyfriend miss you and wonder what you are up to.
For instance, if you are texting with him, you can make up plans and text him something like, “sorry, I have to go; I need to get ready and go out.”
This will make him wonder where you are going and with whom. It will make him jealous, and he will want you back.
You can also reply to all his questions when you talk but not ask any; this aloofness will make him think twice.
However, you should be careful not to come off as cold; there is a thin line between aloof and uncaring. After all, you want your boyfriend back.
A break is a pause in a relationship to evaluate the relationship and see if you are fit for each other. For example, you can take a break if you are building yourself or feel like you are not good for each other.
If you miss your boyfriend during a break, keep busy and avoid contacting him. It would be best if you took the opportunity to live your best life and improve yourself. However, if missing him overwhelms you, talk to your friends and family.
If you want your boyfriend to miss you when you are on a break, avoid contacting him; if you do, keep the conversations short. Moreover, only post a little on your social media to keep him guessing.
Related Reading: How To Tell Someone You Need A Break (5 Key Points)
Photo by Miriam Alonso on Pexels.com
Sarah Williams is an author at CandidHaven.com she is an expert in human psychology having graduated with an M.S. in Psychology.
Sarah has extensive experience in relationships and dating therapy having worked for over 6 years with different groups of people including teens, dating couples, and married people.
She is a lover of life, and self-development and believes everyone deserves to be in a fulfilling relationship. Sarah loves reading self-help books and doing research on human psychology.