This article will examine why she wants your attention but has a boyfriend and what to do in the scenario.
You have met this amazing girl, and she wants your attention; the only problem is; she has a boyfriend.
Life is difficult enough without a girl with a boyfriend giving you attention; it is worse when you like her too.
Complicated emotions arise, especially when someone is in a committed relationship and wants your attention.
It is exciting when a girl who could be the girl of your dreams wants your attention.
However, if she has a boyfriend, knowing if she is seeking your attention or wants to be friends is important.
Sometimes people send mixed signals, but if you are sure she is actively seeking your attention, you may want to know why and what to do.
Reasons She Wants Your Attention But Has A Boyfriend
People do things for different reasons. It may be unethical for a girl with a boyfriend to want your attention, but it happens.
There are many reasons she wants your attention but has a boyfriend. Some of these reasons include;
1. She Is an Attention Seeker
Some people always want the spotlight on them. So, if she wants your attention and has a boyfriend, she may be an attention seeker and just wants everyone to focus on her.
Attention seekers have some distinct characteristics. For instance, they are always fishing for compliments, causing arguments, and trying to be controversial to elicit reactions from people.
They also fabricate or exaggerate stories to seek sympathy or praise. Additionally, they pretend not to know how to do something so people can help them.
These types of behaviors allow attention seekers to get the validation they crave from others
A girl who wants your attention but has a boyfriend exhibits the above traits as an attention seeker, not because she feels attracted to you.
People with attention-seeking behavior have low self-esteem and tend to seek validation and attention from multiple sources to boost their self-esteem.
John Smith, a marriage and family therapist, says, “Individuals with low self-esteem may engage in attention-seeking behavior to feel validated and desired.
2. She Is Unhappy In Her Relationship
Sometimes if she wants your attention but has a boyfriend, she could be unhappy in her relationship.
Relationships are difficult and need a lot of work, and many people try to portray their relationships for what they are not to the outside world.
So, if she wants your attention but has a boyfriend, she could be unhappy in the relationship and doesn’t know how to end it.
So, if her boyfriend is not making her happy, she may seek happiness somewhere else, and being with you makes her happy.
For instance, if her boyfriend doesn’t treat her right, and you do, she will want to be with you and will want your attention because you actually give her attention.
3. She Is Bored With Her Boyfriend
A girl in a boring relationship may want your attention even if she has a boyfriend. Sometimes people get into relationships thinking their partner is one way to find they are not after a while.
So, if she went into the relationship thinking the boyfriend is fun and it turns out he is boring, she will get bored with the relationship because her boyfriend doesn’t challenge her or stimulate her anymore.
Moreover, she may want your attention because she finds it easier to talk to someone who is not romantically involved in her life.
4. She Is Keeping Her Options Open
If a girl wants your attention but has a boyfriend, she is keeping her options open.
Back in the day, when you found a good person to connect with, you tried to build a relationship, but those days are sadly long gone.
So, if she wants your attention but has a boyfriend, she may be keeping her options open.
She thinks the grass is greener on your side and wants to string you along as she waits to see if her relationship will work. If it doesn’t, she knows she has a fallback plan.
According to Dr. Megan Fleming, many girls are keeping their options open today even when they think they have found someone decent.
This is sad because if you are interested in her, she will play cat-and-mouse games with you, and you will end up hurt. If you want to stick around and see how it ends, it’s up to you.
5. She Is Attracted To You
“It’s complicated” is the most ambiguous relationship status in social media.
However, relationships are complicated, and it is worse if she wants your attention but has a boyfriend.
If a girl is in a relationship and is attracted to you, it will be complicated for her and for you too.
For instance, if she has been going out with her boyfriend for a while and then meets you and finds you attractive, she will want your attention despite having a boyfriend.
She is confused because she likes you and her boyfriend and is unsure where the relationship with the boyfriend will end.
So, she will seek your attention to keep you around as she figures out where her current relationship is heading.
6. Her Boyfriend Is Not Affectionate
If she wants your attention but has a boyfriend, her boyfriend is not giving her the affection she craves; and she is looking to get it from you.
Sometimes a girl will be in a relationship with a guy who is not affectionate to her or only affectionate in bed and will be looking for the missing piece of the puzzle.
If you give her the affection her boyfriend doesn’t, she will want to be around you more and will seek your attention.
For instance, if her boyfriend rarely hugs and kisses her or shows her he loves her in any way, she will want your attention if you show her affection.
Girls like someone affectionate to them; if their boyfriends are not, they will seek the affection elsewhere.
7. She Is Just Being Friendly
Some girls are just naturally extroverted and friendly, which sometimes may be confused with wanting attention.
So, if she wants your attention but has a boyfriend, she may just be friendly.
Some girls are so in touch with their feminine side that everything they do seems flirtatious when that was not their intention.
So, if she wants your attention but has a boyfriend, ensure she is not just being friendly like she does with other people, and she is flirting with you and wants your attention.
8. She Had A Fight With Her Boyfriend
All relationships have their ups and downs. So, if she wants your attention but has a boyfriend, she may have fought with her boyfriend.
Some women fear confrontation and will not want to talk about the problems in their relationships, so when they fight with their boyfriends, they will learn to seek solace from someone else instead of talking about their problems.
For instance, if she fights with her boyfriend and he says something mean to her, she may seek your attention to help her build up her self-esteem.
For example, if he said something about her weight or appearance, she will want someone to tell her she’s beautiful.
According to Dr. Samantha Johnson, a relationship counselor, avoiding confrontation and difficult conversations can drive individuals to seek external emotional support as an escape.
9. She Is Feeling Unappreciated
If she wants your attention but has a boyfriend, she may be feeling unappreciated by her boyfriend.
A girl is seeking your attention and is in a relationship; her boyfriend may be taking her for granted.
She just wants to feel appreciated, and the only way she can get the appreciation she wants is from you.
If you have had a few interactions with her before and you were good to her, she knows you are a good person, and you will appreciate her, so anytime her boyfriend takes her for granted, she comes seeking your attention.
Appreciation goes a long way in a relationship; if her boyfriend doesn’t appreciate her, she will get appreciation elsewhere.
As Cherish says in their song Unappreciated, they don’t know how much more they can take.
Everyone has their breaking point, so if she wants your attention but has a boyfriend, her boyfriend doesn’t appreciate her, and she has had enough.
What To Do If She Wants Your Attention But Has A Boyfriend
It is confusing when she wants your attention but has a boyfriend; you don’t know if she will break up with her boyfriend and be with you or if she is just leading you on, only to leave you.
If this is your situation, there are several things you can do. Some of these include;
1. Talk to her
The sure way to know where you stand with a girl who wants your attention but has a boyfriend is to have an open and honest conversation with her.
If you are attracted to her, tell her; if you are not attracted to her, tell her. An open conversation is the only way to know where you stand with each other.
Ask her if she is in for the long haul, and if so, ask how she plans to handle the situation with her boyfriend.
2. Walk Away
If she wants your attention but has a boyfriend because she is an attention-seeker, walk away.
Sometimes the best defense is no defense at all. If this girl is an attention seeker, she will always jump to the next guy seeking attention, and no one will ever be enough for her.
So, if she is an attention seeker, walk away because you don’t want to be part of the drama she will drag into your life.
3. Set Boundaries
You should set clear boundaries when she wants your attention but has a boyfriend.
The situation is already complicated enough without a third person, so tell her you can only be her friend, but you can’t go further.
If she wants to take things further, she has to break up with her boyfriend before you can have anything with her.
Walk away if she doesn’t want to break up with her boyfriend. You don’t need this complication in your life.
4. Respect Her Relationship
There must be something keeping her in the relationship, even if she wants your attention.
So, respect her relationship and refrain from doing or encouraging something that may jeopardize her current relationship.
Relationships are complicated, and navigating a situation where she wants your attention but has a boyfriend can be tricky.
There are many reasons a girl will want your attention even if she has a boyfriend; some include being an attention seeker, being unhappy, bored, attracted to you, or keeping her options open.
Moreover, if her boyfriend doesn’t appreciate her, is not affectionate, or they had a fight, she will want your attention despite having a boyfriend.
On the other hand, she may want your attention despite having a boyfriend if she is just friendly.
If she wants your attention but has a boyfriend, talk to her, set clear boundaries, respect her relationship, and walk away.
When dealing with such a situation, it is crucial to approach it with integrity, empathy, and respect for everyone involved.
Photo by Ron Lach: https://www.pexels.com/photo/three-friends-discussing-9807592/
Sarah Williams is an author at CandidHaven.com she is an expert in human psychology having graduated with an M.S. in Psychology.
Sarah has extensive experience in relationships and dating therapy having worked for over 6 years with different groups of people including teens, dating couples, and married people.
She is a lover of life, and self-development and believes everyone deserves to be in a fulfilling relationship. Sarah loves reading self-help books and doing research on human psychology.