In this article, we will look at the reasons your girlfriend is always on her phone and what you can do about it.
In today’s digital age, finding yourself glued to your phone is common. It is frustrating when you are trying to talk to your girlfriend, who is always on her phone.
If your girlfriend is always on her phone when you want to spend quality time with her, it is called phubbing.
Phubbing, also known as phone snubbing, is when you try to talk to your girlfriend, and she is busy on her phone checking emails, scrolling through social media, or texting with her friends instead of giving you attention.
Smartphones are a great invention and have made our communication easier, but when excessive phone use starts affecting relationships, it becomes a concern.
If you find yourself thinking about how your girlfriend is always on her phone, you may want to know why and what you can do about it.
Reasons Your Girlfriend Is Always On Her Phone
There are many reasons your girlfriend is always on her phone, these reasons include;
1. She Is Addicted To Her Phone
One of the main reasons your girlfriend is always on her phone is phone addiction. Phone addiction is a psychological condition where people fear detaching from their phones.
This phone addiction, known as nomophobia or no mobile phone phobia, is becoming more common daily.
Many people are so attached to their phones they use them even when they shouldn’t.
If your girlfriend is always on her phone, chances may have nomophobia. If you suspect your girlfriend has nomophobia, look out for these signs;
- She gets anxious when the battery is about to die.
- She worries about being in a place without a connection.
- She panics when she is running out of data.
- She is anxious when she can’t use her phone.
Moreover, your girlfriend may be addicted to her phone and have nomophobia. Some signs your girlfriend is addicted to her phone include;
- She spends more time on her phone instead of talking face-to-face.
- She will use her phone when she is not supposed to, like when driving.
- She struggles to leave the house without her phone.
- She regularly checks her phone even when it has not rung or vibrated.
- She can’t eat without her phone on the table.
- She sleeps with her phone under the pillow so she doesn’t miss a notification.
2. All Her Friends Are Online
Most people have nonexistent social lives outside their phones; they will spend so much time on their phones.
So, if your girlfriend is always on the phone, it could be that all her friends are online, and she has no social life outside her online friends.
If this is the case, she will spend a lot of time catching up with her friends online and may neglect the few offline relationships.
Moreover, if your girlfriend’s friends are always online, she will also find herself on her phone talking with them.
3. She Is Bored
Smartphones are a quick source of cheap entertainment. So, if your girlfriend is bored, she will always be on her phone seeking instant gratification.
According to Jenni Jacobsen, a licensed clinical social worker, if your girlfriend is bored, she will try to fill her time with her phone.
It gives her something to do to pass the time when she is not working. And this comes at little or no cost.
For instance, when I am bored, the first thing I reach for is my phone; it gives me something to keep me busy. I will be mindlessly scrolling through my socials to entertain myself when bored.
So, if your girlfriend is like me, she may always be on her phone when bored.
4. She has a Fear Of Missing Out
If your girlfriend is always on the phone, she may have a fear of missing out. If your girlfriend’s friends are social bees and attend many events, she will want to follow their activities on social media.
Moreover, she may always be on her phone because she wants to know when and where the latest event is.
If your girlfriend is an extrovert who likes going out to social events, she will always be on her phone because she doesn’t want to miss out on any of the events.
Dr. Sarah Williams states, “The fear of missing out can be a powerful driver of excessive phone use.”
5. She Uses It As An Escape
If your girlfriend is always on her phone, she may use it as an escape. Some people use their phones as an escape and avoidance method.
If you are having problems in the relationship, your girlfriend may use her phone to avoid talking to you.
Whenever you want to talk about problems in the relationship, she will take her phone to avoid talking to you.
Moreover, if your girlfriend is having problems at work or with her family, she may use her phone to escape the stresses in her life.
A smartphone is a source of entertainment, and your girlfriend will use it to forget what she is going through.
For instance, when I am stressed, I will go on my phone to watch funny clips; they help me laugh and forget my problems, albeit for a short time.
6. She Is Talking To Someone Else
I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but if your girlfriend is always on her phone, she may be talking to someone else.
If you think your girlfriend is always on her phone because she is texting other guys, you look for other signs to ascertain your suspicions. Some signs to look for include the following;
- She turns her screen away from you when you walk by.
- She never lets you touch her phone.
- She changes her password or puts one if she doesn’t have it.
- She stops what she is doing when you are around.
- She walks out to take calls when you are around.
- She is defensive when you ask who she is talking to.
- She is overprotective of her phone.
If your girlfriend is always on her phone and shows the above signs, she could be talking to someone else.
However, you should not jump to conclusions and accuse her of cheating, approach her politely and ask her why she is always on her phone.
7. She Is Working
Sometimes your girlfriend will always be on her phone if she has serious work commitments.
In this digital world where more and more people are working out of their laptops and phones, your girlfriend may be busy with work commitments.
For instance, if your girlfriend has a project at work that needs constant collaboration with her colleagues, she will always be on her phone looking out for developments on the work projects.
Moreover, if your girlfriend is a freelancer, she will always be on her phone because she needs to be in contact with her clients at all times.
On the other hand, your girlfriend may be busy at work all day, and the only time she has to be on her phone is when she gets home.
She will use this time to catch up with her family and friends and on social media.
If this is the case, you may think your girlfriend is always on her phone because the times you are together are when she gets time to catch a break from work.
8. She Wants To Look Busy
According to research, cell phone usage affects many young people’s behavior and how they interact with each other.
So, if your girlfriend is always on her phone, she may want to look busy to avoid social interactions.
When someone is on their phone, you will avoid talking to them, especially in public. So, if you take her to meet your friends, she may want to look busy on her phone so that your friends don’t talk to her.
Being on your phone works like a charm when you want to avoid social interactions.
For instance, if I am on public transport or in a place I am not familiar with, I am always on my phone to look busy and avoid interaction with people.
9. She feels You Neglect Her
According to Jacobsen, if you neglect your girlfriend, she will always be on her phone trying to fill her time.
If you are always busy with other things and don’t give your girlfriend the quality time she deserves, she will turn to her phone for entertainment.
You may think you are spending time with her, but if you don’t talk to her or sleep when you hang out, she will look for other ways to fill her time, and her phone is the easiest to reach for.
10. She Lacks Healthy Boundaries
If your girlfriend is always on her phone, she may lack healthy boundaries between her online and offline lives.
If there is a crossover between her online and offline lives, she will not be able to have a distinct balance of the two.
For example, if all her online friends are her only friends, she may spend too much time on her phone talking to them and neglect her family and other offline relationships.
What To Do When Your Girlfriend Is Always On Her Phone
It is frustrating when you want to spend time with your girlfriend, who is always on her phone. This behavior will also negatively affect your relationship.
If your girlfriend is always on her phone, here are several things you can do to amend the situation.
1. Talk To Her
If your girlfriend is always on her phone, have an open and honest conversation with her. Tell her how her being on her phone is affecting your relationship.
However, when approaching her to talk about her excessive phone usage, ensure you are polite and don’t use accusatory language.
Moreover, do not be too quick to judge her and accuse her of cheating because she is always on her phone.
It is important to know to approach her politely because if she is addicted to her phone, she will get defensive, and you may not have a constructive conversation.
Moreover, when talking to her, ensure she is not distracted by her phone, as she will barely listen to you, and you may not get your point across or get annoyed with her.
2. Encourage Her To Take A Break From Her Phone
If your girlfriend is always on her phone and it’s affecting your relationship, you should encourage her to take a break from her phone. Ask her to put away her phone for a while so you can spend quality time together.
You can make some rules about phone usage when you are together. For instance, you can say no phones at the dinner table or on date night.
This will help you have quality time with your girlfriend without distractions.
I know this is easier said than done, and your girlfriend may have problems letting go of her phone, so you can make it a game and introduce fines.
For instance, you can say whoever touches their phone first during dinner will have to do the dishes.
If your girlfriend hates doing dishes as I do, they will keep away from their phone.
If your girlfriend is addicted to her phone, she may experience some withdrawal symptoms when you take her phone away; some of these include;
- Irritability
- Agitation
- Lack of concentration
- Trouble sleeping
3. Encourage Her To Have Healthy Boundaries Between Her Online And Offline Lives
If your girlfriend is always on her phone because her online and offline lives are intertwined, encourage her to create healthy boundaries between them.
You can encourage her to go out and make friends offline who she can see even when she doesn’t have her phone.
Moreover, you can help her meet new friends by introducing her to your friends who have a lot in common with her.
In addition, you can encourage her to sign up for activities and events that require her to be outdoors and out of connectivity.
4. Seek Professional Help
If your girlfriend is always on her phone because she has nomophobia or is addicted to her phone, you can seek professional help if talking to her doesn’t help.
A professional will help you know the underlying causes of your girlfriend always being on her phone.
Moreover, they will give you tools to help you support your girlfriend through her journey of not excessively using her phone.
When you visit a professional therapist, they will also help you work out the problems your girlfriend’s phone usage has caused in the relationship.
Final Thoughts
Smartphones are useful in this digital age; however, excessive phone use can create relationship problems. It is frustrating when your girlfriend is always on her phone and phubbing you.
There are many reasons your girlfriend is always on her phone; some of them include she is addicted to her phone, is bored, doesn’t have boundaries between her online and offline lives, or all her friends are online.
Moreover, if your girlfriend is always on her phone, she is talking to someone else, you neglect her, she is working, or wants to look busy.
If your girlfriend is always on her phone, you should talk to her, help her create healthy boundaries between her online and offline lives, or seek professional help.
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