In this article, we will examine why your boyfriend always falls asleep when you hang out, the benefits of falling asleep with your partner, and what you can do about it.
Spending quality time is vital in a relationship. So, naturally, you want to hang out with your boyfriend and have fun together whenever possible. So, it can be frustrating if your boyfriend always falls asleep when you hang out.
However, you are not alone if your boyfriend falls asleep when you hang out. Many women complain of their partners falling asleep when they are together.
If your boyfriend falls asleep when you hang out, it may be frustrating as you do not know what you are doing wrong.
Research shows couples sleep better when they share a bed, creating a physical bond. Additionally, sleeping with your partner helps develop a mental, emotional, and intimate bond with them.
So, why does your boyfriend fall asleep when you hang out?
Reasons Your Boyfriend Falls Asleep When You Hang Out
If your boyfriend always falls asleep when you hang out, you have all kinds of things going through your mind, most of which are not good.
So if you are wondering why your boyfriend falls asleep when you hang out, here are several reasons to explain his sleepiness.
1. Lack of Sleep
Your boyfriend could fall asleep when you hang out because he lacks sleep or has poor-quality sleep.
If your boyfriend has some problems in school, work, or life in general, it could affect his sleep quality. So, when he is with you, he may find it easier to fall asleep.
Moreover, lack of sleep can affect brain chemistry, and when you are near someone you love, your brain produces oxytocin (the love hormone) which helps you relax.
So, if your boyfriend is having trouble sleeping because of stress, the stress will melt away when they are near you.
2. Different Sleeping Schedules
If you have different sleeping schedules with your boyfriend, he could fall asleep when he hangs out with you. For instance, if you work a day shift and your boyfriend works night shifts, he will fall asleep when you hang out during the day.
This is not a reflection on you or something you are doing wrong. Your schedules do not align. In the same way, if you hang out at night, you will fall asleep because that is your time to sleep.
For instance, my boyfriend and I have crazy schedules sometimes, he will work long into the night, and I work during the day.
So, when he gets home, we can’t hang out because he will be asleep when I am awake and have time to hang out. When he is awake, I am either buried in work or asleep. But we make it work.
3. They Are Comfortable Around You
When you are in a new relationship, many hormones are involved. But as the honeymoon phase ends, you get more relaxed with your partner. So, if your boyfriend falls asleep when you hang out, he is comfortable with you.
The human brain is tricky and will most likely not let you fall asleep in a place you do not feel secure with someone you don’t trust.
If your boyfriend always falls asleep when you hang out, it means he feels comfortable and secure with you. Research shows that most people who are used to being with their partners will have trouble falling and staying asleep if they are away from each other.
I am sure your boyfriend has sent you this text at least once when you were not together, “I wish you were sleeping next to me.” It means you are his safe place. And we all deserve one.
Sleep comes more easily when you feel safe and comfortable, so take it as a compliment if your boyfriend falls asleep when with you.
4. He Is Bored
Let me play the devil’s advocate for a minute here. If your boyfriend always falls asleep when you hang out, he could be bored.
I know it is a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes your boyfriend could be bored when he hangs out with you. It could be the activities you are into are not what he enjoys, and it doesn’t stimulate him.
Moreover, he could refrain from telling you he is bored and falling asleep because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.
For instance, if you like watching chick freaks and your boyfriend is into action movies and sports, he could fall asleep when you are watching movies.
Sometimes it takes work to find a balance in the activities to participate in when you are in a relationship. For example, you may have nothing in common with your boyfriend, and one of you will get bored at some point. It is important to come to a compromise and find something you both enjoy.
5. He Has a Health Issue
If your boyfriend always falls asleep when you hang out, he could have a health issue or sleeping disorder that makes him fall asleep. Sleep Health Organization says 50 to 70 million Americans have sleep disorders. Your boyfriend could be among them.
If the relationship is new, he may be embarrassed to discuss his health issues with you.
If you think he has a sleeping disorder, gently bring it up and get him a checkup. Here are some signs to look out for if you think he has a sleep disorder.
- He has difficulty falling or staying asleep.
- He is fatigued during the day.
- He has unusual breathing patterns.
- He has changed his sleep schedule.
- He is irritable and anxious.
- He is taking naps during the day.
- He lacks concentration.
6. He Is Not Into You
Hi, devil’s advocate again. If your boyfriend always falls asleep when you hang out, he could not be into you anymore and is using sleep to avoid the painful conversation.
When this is the case, you will pick up more signs that he is not into you, like gaming too much when you are together or barely talking to you.
If you think your boyfriend always falls asleep when you hang out because he dislikes you, you should talk to him.
7. He Is Chemically Bonded To You
Your boyfriend could be chemically bonded if he always falls asleep when you are together. When you sleep with someone you love, your body produces oxytocin and serotonin, making you sleepier.
When you cuddle and kiss your boyfriend, your bodies produce these feel-good hormones. Serotonin stabilizes the mood and helps produce melatonin, which enables you to fall asleep. Additionally, oxytocin helps you fall asleep and stay asleep longer.
8. He Is Tired
If your boyfriend always falls asleep when you hang out, he could be tired. Sometimes the most straightforward answer is right, so don’t overthink.
If your boyfriend does strenuous physical work, he will fall asleep whenever he sits down to relax. Moreover, your boyfriend will be tired if you are from doing physical activities like hiking or rock climbing.
Additionally, your boyfriend could be tired from work or school. For instance, he could have a project that takes most of his time and makes him work overtime and sometimes overnight. If this is the case, he will fall asleep when he comes home to relax.
9. He Is Annoyed With You
If your boyfriend always falls asleep when you hang out, you could be annoyed with you. Sometimes when you are upset with someone you love, you will avoid talking to them, and there is no better way to avoid talking to someone than being asleep.
For instance, when my boyfriend is annoying me, I will make sure I am asleep when he comes home so I can avoid talking to him because I know he can’t wake me up.
So, your boyfriend might be the same. If he is annoyed, he will sleep to avoid talking to you.
Benefits of Sleeping with Your Partner
If your boyfriend always falls asleep when you hang out, you should take the opportunity to snuggle with him and fall asleep too to leap the benefits of sleeping with someone you love.
So, what are the benefits of sleeping with your partner?
- You fall asleep faster and stay asleep for longer– research shows that sleeping with someone you love produces hormones that help you fall asleep faster and stay asleep for long—significantly improving your sleep quality.
- You have fewer sleep disorders– a survey by the University of Arizona shows that sleeping with a romantic partner reduces the risk of sleep apnea and insomnia.
- More restorative sleep– if you wonder why you get a better sleep when you sleep with your partner, it is because you get more restorative sleep. According to Dr. Michaels Breus, clinical psychologist, and sleep medicine expert, sex improves sleep quality due to the production of oxytocin, serotonin, and norepinephrine.
- It lowers blood pressure– sleeping next to your boyfriend will prolong your life. According to research by the University of California, people with high oxytocin levels have lower blood pressure. So, sleeping with your boyfriend will reduce the risk of cardiovascular diseases.
- Improves your immunity system– Sharing a bed with your boyfriend will likely lead to sex. Research from Wilkes University shows that sexually active people have better immunity as they produce more antibodies.
- Reduces anxiety- sleeping with your boyfriend makes you feel safe and comfortable, which helps you reduce anxiety. According to research by the University of Virginia, skin-to-skin contact reduces the production of cortisol, the stress hormone.
- Improves mood- Sleeping next to someone you love improves your mood and increases the production of dopamine and serotonin, the feel-good hormones that will help you improve your mood and feel happier.
- It improves the relationship– sleeping next to your partner will help strengthen your relationship. You are happier and less likely to snap at your partner when you get quality sleep. Moreover, proximity helps you build a stronger relationship.
What To Do If Your Boyfriend Always Falls Asleep When You Hang Out
It is frustrating if your boyfriend always falls asleep when you hang out, and you will want to know what to do about it. So here are some things you can do if your boyfriend always falls asleep when you hang out.
1. Talk to Him
Communication is the key to every relationship. So if your boyfriend always falls asleep when you hang out, you should talk to me. Tell him how you feel when he falls asleep. If you feel ignored or unappreciated, tell him.
Talking will also help you understand why he falls asleep when you hang out. You may find he has a valid reason, and it is not your fault he falls asleep (sometimes, we tend to go to the worst-case scenario).
2. Ask Him to Go For a Checkup
If your boyfriend falls asleep because of underlying conditions, encourage him to go for a checkup so a professional can treat his underlying conditions.
If he lacks sleep because of stress and anxiety, you can take him to a therapist to help him deal with the issues giving him stress and causing the lack of sleep.
When he deals with the underlying issues, it will be easier for him to fall asleep, and he will remain awake when you hang out.
3. Get Activities That Interest Both of You
If your boyfriend always falls asleep when you hang out because he is bored, look for activities you both like. If you can’t come to a compromise on the activities you can do, look for new hobbies to do together.
Try doing new stuff together; you might get something new you both enjoy, which can be your new thing. Moreover, you will get to hang out with your boyfriend when looking for something to do together. It’s a win-win situation.
4. Do Nothing
If your boyfriend always falls asleep when you hang out because they are comfortable around you or you have a chemical bond, there is nothing you should do but enjoy it.
You are among the lucky few who have gotten to a comfortable and secure place in their relationship. Enjoy.
5. Encourage Him to Have Good Sleep Hygiene
If your boyfriend is always asleep when you hang out because they are overworking and not getting enough sleep, encourage them to adopt good sleep hygiene.
It is frustrating if you want to hang out with someone you love, and they are always asleep. There are many reasons your boyfriend always falls asleep when you hang out; it could be he lacks sleep, is bored, comfortable, stressed, or is annoyed with you.
Moreover, if you have a chemical bond with your boyfriend, or he is annoyed with you or tired, he will fall asleep.
However, it is not all doom and gloom; sleeping together with your partner has many benefits. For instance, it improves sleep quality, moods, and system immunity, reduces anxiety, and lowers blood pressure.
If your boyfriend always falls asleep when you hang out, talk to him, understand his reasons, and tell him how it makes you feel. You can also get activities you both enjoy if he is bored and encourage him to adopt better sleep hygiene.
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Sarah Williams is an author at CandidHaven.com she is an expert in human psychology having graduated with an M.S. in Psychology.
Sarah has extensive experience in relationships and dating therapy having worked for over 6 years with different groups of people including teens, dating couples, and married people.
She is a lover of life, and self-development and believes everyone deserves to be in a fulfilling relationship. Sarah loves reading self-help books and doing research on human psychology.