Our clothes are one of the best forms of self-expression that we make. We make many decisions daily, some of which we may not think twice about.
Choosing the day’s outfit is one of our most important decisions. However, sometimes you may choose an outfit that may not sit well with your partner.
According to some researchers, our clothes may affect our confidence and behavior. When you wear clothes that you love, it elevates your self-confidence.
If your boyfriend gets mad when you wear revealing clothes, it may discourage you, and you may feel like he does not have a right to tell you what to wear. Your boyfriend may feel uncomfortable and disrespected when you wear revealing clothes.
However, your boyfriend may be mad when you wear revealing clothes because he does not want other men looking at you.
According to research, objectification of women can be encouraged by revealing clothes. Suppose your boyfriend gets mad when you wear revealing clothes.
In this article, we will discuss the issue of a boyfriend getting angry or upset when their partner chooses to wear revealing clothing.
We will explore the perspective of the boyfriend, the challenges that arise in this situation, the impact it can have on your relationship, and the strategies for addressing the issue.
The Importance Of Self-Expression
Self-expression is important, and it may be the key to happiness. However, it is hard for most people to be themselves. We tend to conform to societal pressures from family, friends, or the government.
Dr. Heejung Kim, a social psychologist, says, “Self-expression is a notion that is closely associated with a horde of positive concepts, such as freedom, creativity, style, courage, self-assurance, and even healing and spirituality. The freedom of speech symbolizes one’s ultimate freedom to be oneself.”
1. The Right To Choose What To Wear
The clothes you wear are one form of your self-expression. According to international human rights law, we all have the right to freedom of expression, and compulsory dress rules interfere with our human rights.
You have the right to choose what you wear; your boyfriend should not dictate what you wear. Choosing what to wear is important because it shows who you are. Clothes are used as a form of communication.
2. The Role Of Clothes In Building Self-Confidence And Self-Esteem
The clothes you wear have a way of boosting your self-confidence and esteem. When you wear something you are not comfortable in or something you were forced to wear, you will not have the confidence you usually have when you have the clothes you love on.
Having fashionable clothes improves your confidence and transforms your self-perception and the perception of other people. According to studies, you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes.
The first impression matters, and you should therefore dress your best so you can leave a lasting impression and have the confidence to face the world.
For example, when I have a nice dress that I love, I walk with a skip in my step. It makes me feel great when I know I look nice. It also doesn’t hurt when people compliment my dress.
In the same case, when you go to a board meeting and wear that power suit, it makes you feel more confident and elevates your self-esteem.
According to 2012 research from the University of Hertfordshire, people dress how they feel. If you are feeling sad, you will wear unappealing clothes.
3. The Relationship Between Clothing And Personal Identity
Clothes create a personal brand. When you dress a certain way, it shows the world who you are. The clothes you wear show your identity.
When you have a signature look, people will identify you with that look. It is a unique symbol of who you are; it makes you stand out from the rest of the people.
For instance, I love wearing my hair a certain way; during the Christmas break, I changed my hairstyle, and many people told me I didn’t look like myself. This shows that my hairstyle is my personal identity.
It is better to choose a classic over a trendy style for signature styles. Classics will never go out of style, and they will protect your personal identity.
Understanding The Perspective Of your Boyfriend
If your boyfriend gets mad when you wear revealing clothes, it will help if you understand where he is coming from.
There are many reasons your boyfriend may get mad when you wear revealing clothes. Some of the reasons include the following;
1. Societal Expectations And Societal Pressure
Your boyfriend may get mad due to societal expectations and pressure when you wear revealing clothes.
For example, if he grew up in an environment where women did not wear certain clothes or those who wore them were looked down upon, he may not like it when you wear revealing clothes.
Growing up, women who wore revealing clothes were labeled “sluts.” They were seen as easy, so your boyfriend may get mad when you wear revealing clothes like short skirts because he feels the societal pressure. He does not want to be seen dating a “slut.”
On the other hand, your boyfriend may fear people will see you in a certain way. For example, people tend to think that people who wear revealing clothes are available and may feel they are telling other men you are available.
Moreover, he may feel you are not considering his opinion when he asks you not to wear revealing clothes.
2. Fear Of Jealousy And Possessiveness
Your boyfriend may get mad when you wear revealing clothes if he is jealous and possessive. For example, if your boyfriend does not want to see other men looking at you, he may get mad when you wear revealing clothes.
Some men are so possessive they do not want to see you having male friends. If your boyfriend is like this, he may get angry when you wear revealing clothes because he is afraid random men will look at you and possibly want to date you.
Possessiveness and jealousy are big red flags in a relationship because, in time, they may turn into emotional abuse.
For example, your boyfriend may not want you to leave the house or associate with other people for fear of losing you to other men.
3. Insecurity And Lack Of Self-Confidence
If your boyfriend has low self-confidence, he may get insecure when you wear revealing clothes. Sometimes your boyfriend may feel like the clothes you wear are some sort of advertisement for your body shape or for seeking attention.
If you feel confident in what you wear, your boyfriend may feel insecure that you will attract other guys. He is insecure with his masculinity and fears you may find someone better than him and move on.
If your boyfriend has low self-confidence, he may be threatened by your confidence and may want to put you down by discouraging the clothes that make you feel confident in your body image.
4. Past Experiences And Traumas
If your boyfriend has had a bad experience in the past with someone who wore revealing clothes, he may get mad at you when you wear them. For instance, if he had a partner who wore revealing clothes and they cheated on him, he may feel like you would do the same to him.
Moreover, your boyfriend may get mad when you wear revealing clothes if he has seen a lady being poorly treated when wearing revealing clothes.
It is unfortunate society still perpetuates rape culture. When your boyfriend tells you to wear conservative clothes to avoid sexual harassment, he is part of the problem.
As much as he may have had a bad experience in the past, he should understand that clothes have nothing to do with rape and it is the perpetrators’ fault. He should also stop victim blaming for wearing revealing clothes.
5. He Is Controlling
If your boyfriend gets mad when you wear revealing clothes, he may be controlling. This is a huge red flag, and you should run because it can potentially evolve into abuse.
If your boyfriend gets upset when you wear revealing clothes and wants to decide what you wear, he is controlling. However, if it is a one-time suggestion, it may be acceptable, but if he always asks you to change your clothes, he wants to control your dressing.
Some of the signs that your boyfriend is controlling include;
- He comments on your looks, insults you, and humiliates you because of your weight.
- He blames you for everything.
- He is overprotective.
- He does not let you spend time with family and friends.
- He wants to know everything happening in your life and doesn’t give you privacy.
- He is insecure.
- He is jealous.
- He criticizes everything you do; you can’t do right by him.
- He thinks he is always right.
- He wants to make decisions for you.
6. He Has a Regressive Attitude Towards Women.
If your boyfriend gets mad when you wear revealing clothes, he may have regressive attitudes towards women and sex.
For example, he may believe that women who wear revealing clothes are promiscuous. If this is your boyfriend’s belief, you should talk to him about his misguided belief.
The Potential Challenges Of Wearing Revealing Clothes In A Relationship
If you wear revealing clothes, you may have some challenges in your relationship. Some of the challenges you may experience include the following;
1. Disrespect For The Partner’s Feelings
When you wear revealing clothes, your boyfriend may object, and if you continue wearing the clothes, he may feel like you are disrespecting him and not considering his feelings.
Unfortunately, some men believe they should control the clothes their girlfriends wear. This creates bad blood with the girlfriend because she feels her boyfriend disrespects her feelings and choices. After all, it is her body, and she has the right to choose what to wear.
2. Damage To Trust And Intimacy
When you wear revealing clothes and your boyfriend objects because he feels you want to attract other men and cheat on him. This will make your boyfriend distrust you, which may take a toll on the intimacy of the relationship.
If your boyfriend believes you are wearing revealing clothes to cheat on him, he will not want to be intimate with you. This distrust will create a rift in the relationship.
3. Conflicts Over Boundaries and Expectations
If your boyfriend wants to dictate the clothes you wear, and you object, it will create conflicts in the relationship.
You will not want to be with someone who does not appreciate your dress as your way of self-expression.
There will be a lot of pull and push in the relationship; your boyfriend will want you to conform while you will oppose because you want freedom of expression.
With unmet expectations and conflicts over boundaries, your relationship may have unresolved problems.
4. Negative Impact On Self-Worth and Self-Esteem
When your boyfriend keeps getting mad at you for wearing revealing attire, it may have a negative impact on your self-worth and self-esteem.
No matter how hard we try, the words we hear affect us. If you hear something long enough, you may start believing it.
If your boyfriend criticizes your dressing, your fashion sense and self-esteem will take a hit at some point.
The Impact Of Boyfriend Behavior On The Partner
If your boyfriend constantly criticizes your dressing, it will affect you as much as you want to stay strong. Some of the impacts this may have on you include;
1. Damage To Self-Esteem And Self-Worth
If your boyfriend gets mad when you wear revealing clothes, he will criticize your dressing. You will feel like he is suppressing your right and freedom of expression.
The criticism will make you feel unworthy and erode your self-esteem.
2. Feeling Disrespected and Unsupported
If your boyfriend gets mad when you wear revealing clothing, it makes you feel he does not respect your choices and your freedom of expression.
You will also feel your boyfriend is unsupportive. We all want our boyfriends to be supportive, and if he is not supportive, it takes away our safety in the relationship.
3. Loss of Trust and Intimacy
Trust is like glass; when it breaks, there is no way to return it to its original state. So if your boyfriend gets mad when you wear revealing, skimpy or short clothes and does not trust you, you will also lose trust in him and the relationship.
When trust is gone, intimacy flies out the window too. You will not want to be intimate with someone who doesn’t trust you.
4. Negative Impact On the Relationship
When the people in a relationship lose trust, the relationship is in trouble. For example, if you have a boyfriend who criticizes you and tries to control you all the time, you will not want to stay in the relationship.
A boyfriend who gets mad when you wear revealing clothes wants to control you; this is a sign of an abusive and possessive partner. If your boyfriend is controlling, you should consider leaving, as the relationship is potentially abusive.
Strategies for Addressing the Issue
If your boyfriend gets mad at you for wearing revealing clothes, you may want to understand what to do to address the issue. Some of the strategies you can use are;
1. Self-Reflection and Understanding One’s Own Feelings
If your boyfriend gets mad when you wear revealing clothes, you should do a self-reflection. Why do you wear the clothes you do? Are you comfortable with the revealing, skimpy or short clothes you wear? How do you feel about the clothes you wear?
If your answers to the above questions are positive, then you are wearing the clothes for the right reasons. But if you are wearing the clothes to attract other people or piss off your partner, you might consider changing.
2. Empathy and Understanding the Boyfriend’s Perspective
It would help if you tried to understand your boyfriend’s perspective. Talk to your boyfriend and know why he doesn’t want you wearing revealing clothes. If his reasons are valid, you may consider changing your dressing.
3. Open And Honest Communication With The Partner
Talk to your boyfriend when he is calm and ask him why he does not want you to wear the clothes you do. Explain why you wear them calmly and help him understand how they make you feel.
If his reasons are valid, you may consider them but always know it is your body, and you have a right to wear what you feel comfortable in.
4. Setting Clear Boundaries And Expectations
If your boyfriend gets angry when you wear revealing clothing, you should talk about boundaries and managing expectations.
Let your boyfriend know he may suggest an outfit for you, but he cannot dictate what you should wear. Your clothes are your choice, and he should not overstep by dictating what you wear or do.
5. Finding A Compromise That Respects Both Partners’ Feelings
When you are in a relationship, you should learn to compromise; if your boyfriend respectfully asks you to reconsider your dressing once in a while, you may consider your partner’s feelings and compromise. You may also consider not wearing the clothes with him if they make him uncomfortable.
6. Seeking Professional Help If Needed
If your relationship is in trouble because your boyfriend cannot come to terms with your clothing, you may consider seeking professional help.
A professional will help you talk to your partner and understand his point of view. They will also help you articulate your feelings to your boyfriend.
If your self-esteem has reduced because of your boyfriend criticizing your clothes, a therapist will help you regain your self-esteem.
Final Thoughts on Boyfriend gets mad when i wear revealing clothes
Your clothes are a form of self-expression, and it is your right to wear what you want. However, your boyfriend may be unhappy with you wearing revealing clothes. He may get mad due to societal pressures or because he is jealous and possessive.
Your boyfriend getting mad at you for wearing revealing clothes may cause a rift in the relationship. You will lose trust in your boyfriend, and the intimacy will go out the window.
If your boyfriend gets mad when you wear revealing or skimpy clothes, you should have aconversation with him and hear his perspective.
It would help if you tried to compromise, and you should also have some self-reflection and see if you like the clothes you wear.
If you tried talking to your boyfriend and cannot come to a compromise, you should speak to a professional to help you understand each other.
Photo by RODNAE Productions on pexels.com
Sarah Williams is an author at CandidHaven.com she is an expert in human psychology having graduated with an M.S. in Psychology.
Sarah has extensive experience in relationships and dating therapy having worked for over 6 years with different groups of people including teens, dating couples, and married people.
She is a lover of life, and self-development and believes everyone deserves to be in a fulfilling relationship. Sarah loves reading self-help books and doing research on human psychology.