In this article, we will look at signs he does not want to move in with you
It is frustrating when you have been dating someone for a long time, and they don’t want to take the next step in the relationship.
For most people, after dating for some time, they want to move in with their boyfriends. However, some guys don’t want to move in with you.
Sometimes, you wonder if this guy really loves you when he refuses to move in with you.
Some guys will tell you they are not ready to move in with you, while others will keep you guessing. It is frustrating when he keeps you guessing.
If you are wondering if your boyfriend does not want to move in with you, you should look out for several signs.
Signs He Does Not Want To Move In With You
If you want your boyfriend to move and he won’t commit or tell you he doesn’t want to move in with you, you can look out for the following signs.
1. He doesn’t talk about it
When someone wants something, they talk about it. So, if your boyfriend never talks about moving in, they don’t want to move in with you.
If you introduce moving in the topic and your boyfriend evades it, he doesn’t want to move in with you.
If you are anything like me, you talk about the things you like. I believe in voicing the good things I desire.
So, if your boyfriend doesn’t talk about moving in and even evades the topic when you introduce it, he doesn’t want to move in with you.
For instance, before my boyfriend moved in with me, we had a major discussion about our living situation.
We had to make compromises and accommodate each other. So, if your boyfriend doesn’t want to move in with you, he will not discuss the topic.
Sarah Turner, a therapist, says if your partner isn’t actively discussing or planning a future together, it could signal hesitance about moving in.
2. He Doesn’t Talk About the Future
You have been dating your boyfriend for two or three years, but he never talks about the future. What gives?
When you date someone for some time, you want to know the relationship’s future.
Are we moving in, are we getting married? Are we having kids? You should talk about these things when you are in a serious relationship.
However, if your boyfriend never talks about the future, he may not see you in his future.
It hurts when you want your relationship to progress, but your partner seems okay with the status quo.
If your boyfriend never talks about the future, it is a clear sign he does not want to move in with you.
A guy who wants to move in with you will talk about your future and even start making plans to share a living space.
You will plan ahead if you love someone and want to be with them. You want to know your living situation, where you would like to live, and even what your kids will be like if you plan to have them.
However, if your boyfriend doesn’t want to move in with you, he will never talk about the future.
Chances are he doesn’t see you in his future and thus finds it fruitless to talk about it.
According to Dr. Mark Smith, a partner who remains vague about your future together may not be ready for cohabitation.
So, if your boyfriend dodges questions about where the relationship is going, he does not want to move in with you.
3. He Talks About Moving In But Won’t Commit
How many times have you talked about moving in with your boyfriend? Oh, you lost count, didn’t you?
If he does not want to move in with you, you will talk about moving in, but he will never commit.
You can have the conversation a hundred times, but when it is time to take action, he is nowhere to be found.
Some guys will entertain the idea of moving in with you and even discuss it at length, but they will never take the next step.
For instance, if you want to move in and talk about looking for a place, he will always be busy when you want to go house hunting.
Some guys even go to the extent of dodging your texts and calls because they don’t want to commit to moving in.
If you get a good place you think will be perfect for you, he will always find fault in it.
He will do this several times until you get tired of trying to get him to move in with you.
4. He critiques his friends who have moved in with their partners
How does your partner talk about his friends who have moved in with their partners?
What your boyfriend says about his friends who have moved in with their partners tells you a lot about what he thinks of cohabitation.
You have nothing to worry about if he is excited for them and talks about them positively.
However, if your boyfriend criticizes his friends who moved in with their partners, it is a sign he does not want to move in with you.
For instance, if he says his friend lost his freedom when he moved in with his partner, he sees cohabitation as a loss of freedom and will not want to move in with you so he doesn’t lose his perceived freedom.
For instance, before my boyfriend and I moved in together, he had a friend who lived with his girlfriend, and they would invite us for dinner sometimes.
My boyfriend loved this; he kept saying that when we move in together, we would entertain a lot.
The whole idea appealed to him, this was when I knew it would not take a lot of convincing to move in when the time came, and it didn’t.
5. He is too comfortable living at home
If your boyfriend is too comfortable living at home, he does not want to move in with you.
Sometimes you want your boyfriend to move in with you, but he is too comfortable at his parents’ house.
Your boyfriend may be in a good job, but he doesn’t want to live alone or move in with you because he is too comfortable at home.
He may prefer to stay home because he has little to no responsibilities. For instance, if he lives at home, he may not be paying rent; if he is, it is way below market value.
He has his mother cook him dinner, and he may not even want to work.
If your boyfriend is too comfortable at home, he may not want to move in with you because he doesn’t want to give up the comforts at home.
For instance, if he moves in with you, he has to take up responsibilities like paying rent, buying groceries, or even cleaning things he is not used to doing.
6. He is resistant to shared responsibilities
If your boyfriend doesn’t want to move in with you, he will resist sharing responsibilities. He doesn’t want to do anything even when he comes to your place.
For instance, if you invite your boyfriend for dinner, you expect he will help you clean up after dinner, even help make the dinner, or even bring over some groceries.
However, if your boyfriend doesn’t want to share responsibilities, he will show up, and you will do everything.
This is a sign he does not want to move in with you. He wants you to know he is not ready to assume any responsibilities.
Dr. Jennifer Harrison states, “A partner who resists sharing responsibilities like household chores or grocery shopping may not be prepared for cohabitation.”
Research shows that financial issues are a major cause of disagreements in relationships and a cause of divorce.
So, if your boyfriend is not ready to take up responsibilities, you will end up disagreeing even if you coerce him to move in with you.
7. He Told You He Doesn’t Want To Settle Down
One significant sign he doesn’t want to move in with you is if he told you he doesn’t want to settle down.
Some guys don’t want to settle down and will tell you at the beginning of the relationship.
So, if your boyfriend tells you he doesn’t want to settle down, he will not want to move in with you because moving in equals settling down.
If your boyfriend tells you he doesn’t want to settle down, you should not strong-arm him to move in with you.
Instead, talk to him about your feelings on the topic. It will save you a lot of heartache in the future.
8. He Talks About Moving In With His Friends
When you think about moving in with your boyfriend, the last thing you want to hear is him talking about moving in with his friends.
It is disappointing when you have your mind set on living with your boyfriend, and he wants to move in with his boys instead.
If your boyfriend wants to move in with his friends, he does not want to move in with you.
If you get him to move in with you, you may become frustrated because he may prioritize his friends. He may spend too much time at his friends’ house.
On the other hand, he may turn your house into a man cave. He will invite his boys for drinks and video games, and you will never have privacy in your own home.
9. He Doesn’t Want To Meet Your Family And Friends
When you love someone and plan to take the next step in the relationship, you want them to meet your loved ones.
So, if your boyfriend does not want to move in with you, he will not want to meet your family.
He may not be ready to meet them yet, or he is just not into you and is delaying meeting them because he is looking for a way out.
You should think twice when your boyfriend doesn’t want to meet your friends. Someone who is not ready to meet your loved ones is not ready for a serious commitment like moving in together.
According to Dr. Lisa Adams, if your partner displays little interest in meeting or engaging with your family, it could be a sign they’re not ready for a more significant commitment like moving in together.
10. He Is Strongly Focused On Independence
If your boyfriend is strongly focused on independence and talks a lot about independence, he is not ready to move in with you.
Some people value their independence and space and would not want someone to mess with it. If your boyfriend is kind, it is a sign he doesn’t want to move in with you.
When you live together, you will be in each other’s space a lot, and your boyfriend is not ready to share his space.
If your partner continually emphasizes their need for independence and autonomy, he is not ready to share a living space and prioritizes his freedom.
11. He Makes Decisions Without Consulting You
When you move in with someone, you will need to make decisions together and talk over issues before deciding.
Some people are not good with consulting and will make major life decisions without consulting their partners.
So, if your boyfriend makes life-changing decisions without consulting you, it is a sign he doesn’t want to move in with you.
For instance, if you have been dating for a while and your boyfriend leases an apartment for five or ten years, it is a sign he doesn’t want to move in with you.
When you have been with someone for a long time, you expect them to consult you before making major life decisions or at least mention it.
However, in this case, your boyfriend unilaterally makes the decision because he doesn’t want to move in with you.
12. He Doesn’t Make An Effort To Spend Time Together
When you love someone, you want to always be with them. You will make an effort to spend as much time with them as possible.
However, if your boyfriend doesn’t like you, he will avoid spending time with you. Someone who doesn’t want to spend time with you will not want to move in with you.
Moving in with you feels like a prison to them because they have to see you often and spend time with you when they would prefer to do other things.
So, if your boyfriend doesn’t make an effort to spend time with you, it is a sign he does not want to move in with you.
Final Thoughts on Signs He Does Not Want To Move In With You
For most people, moving in is the most logical step in the relationship if they have been dating for a long time.
However, sometimes your partner doesn’t want to move in with you and will not tell you.
There are several signs he does not want to move in with you, some include: he doesn’t talk about moving in, he doesn’t talk about the future, he is too comfortable living at home, or he talks about moving in but never commits.
Moreover, if he is resistant to shared responsibilities, tells you he doesn’t want to settle down, doesn’t want to meet family and friends, or talks about moving with his friends, he does not want to move in with you.
Additionally, if he is strong on independence, does not want to spend time with you, and doesn’t consult you when making important life decisions, he does not want to move in with you.
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto: https://www.pexels.com/photo/couple-talking-while-moving-in-new-apartment-4246243/