In this article, we will discuss some signs he is leading you on.
When you like a guy, you want him to feel the same about you. However, some guys will not feel the same and not have the courage to tell you.
It is hard to tell what someone feels about you, and it is even worse when the person you like leads you on.
It is confusing and emotionally distressing when he is leading you on because you don’t know their true intentions.
When you like someone, it is important to know if they feel the same way about you too, and if they don’t it is better to know where you stand.
Signs He Is Leading You On
There are many signs he is leading you on. Some of the signs include;
1. You Are The One Always Initiating Contact
When you like someone, you want to talk to them all day or at least every chance you get. So, you will initiate contact with them.
However, if you like a guy and you are the only one initiating contact, he is leading you on.
A guy who likes you will blow your phone off with messages and calls all day. He wants to know how you are when you are not together.
So, if you are the only one who initiates every conversation you have, he is not into you and is stringing you on.
If you don’t contact him first, you will never talk because he never texts or calls if you don’t.
For instance, I once had a guy I liked and believed he liked me too. However, after the first few meets, he would only call or text once I texted first.
I texted the first few times and realized I am in the relationship alone. He wasn’t into me and was just leading me on.
2. He Doesn’t Commit To Long Term Plans
If a guy is leading you, he will never commit to long-term plans. A guy leading you on will never commit to long-term plans because he doesn’t see a future with you.
He will not commit to any plans if he is stringing you along, even if they are a week away.
For instance, if a guy is stringing you along and you want to make plans for a vacation, he will not commit; he will say he will think about it or say no.
If you try to make investments with him, he will say you do it first and see how it goes before he invests; he simply doesn’t want to have something tying you to him for a long time because he knows he will not be in your future.
When a guy loves you, he wants you in everything he does; he doesn’t see a future without you. So, if he doesn’t want to make long-term plans, he is leading you on.
3. He Lacks Emotional Availability
If he is leading you on, he will never be emotionally available for you. You need an emotional connection with the person you are dating to make the relationship thrive. You need someone to be there when you need to talk about your feelings.
However, if a guy is leading you on, he will not be emotionally available. According to Dr. Sarah Thompson, a man who consistently avoids deep emotional discussions or dismisses your attempts to connect on a deeper level may be leading you on.
For instance, if you are going through a tough patch at work or school, you will need someone to talk to, and no better person than your partner.
However, if your partner is not there for you or dismisses your emotions, he doesn’t love you and is leading you on.
4. He Doesn’t Want To Define The Relationship
When a guy is leading you on, the most dreaded question is, “What are we?” When you love someone, you want them to define the relationship because you need to know where you stand with them.
However, if a guy is leading you on, he will avoid defining the relationship. He will always leave you uncertain about where you stand in his life.
A man who loves you, claims you, and marks his territory with you wants everyone to know he loves you and will shout it from the mountaintops.
So, if you are seeing a guy who will not put a label on your relationship, he is leading you on.
5. You Put All The Effort In The Relationship
Let me be the devil’s advocate for a minute. If you always make plans and dates in the relationship, you may be dating yourself.
I know it’s hard to hear, but if you are the only one making plans in the relationship, you are in it alone.
A man who loves you will go above and beyond to make you happy. He will plan your dates and hangouts, be affectionate, and do things he knows you love.
However, if he is leading you on, he will not put any effort into the relationship. What’s even worse, you may go to great lengths to plan a date, and he will not bother to show up or give some lame excuses.
According to Dr. Laura Anderson, a man leading you on frequently cancels plans or reschedules at the last minute without providing a valid reason or showing remorse for inconveniencing you.
6. He Won’t Show You Off
When a man loves you, he can’t wait to tell everyone who cares to listen that he is deeply in love with you. He wants to show you off to his family and friends and will post you all over his social media.
However, if he is leading you on, he doesn’t want anyone to know you are together. He will not want you to meet his family and friends and will not want to meet yours, either.
So, if a guy won’t show you off or post your picture on his social media, it is a clear sign he is leading you on and doesn’t want your relationship to go public.
For instance, if you have been dating a guy for a while and you have not met any of his friends and family, and he doesn’t post you on his social media, he is leading you on.
For example, I once dated a guy, and within five months, I hadn’t met any of his friends, leave alone family. Moreover, whenever I asked him to meet my friends, he didn’t want to. After some time, I realized he was leading me on and left after six months.
7. He Is Secretive With His Phone
If a guy is leading you on, he will be secretive with his phone and who he is talking to. He will not want you near his phone or looking over his shoulder when he is texting.
Moreover, a guy leading on you will always be on his phone when you are together and won’t give you any attention.
So, if a guy is secretive with his phone, he is leading you on and may have another girlfriend or looking at other girls online.
For instance, my friend dated this guy who was always on his phone and was so secretive with his phone he could go with it to the shower.
This was peculiar and got my friend curious; when she got a chance, she snooped through his phone and realized he had a whole other family on the side.
So, if your boyfriend is secretive with his phone, he may not love you and is only leading you on.
8. He Takes More Than He Gives
Relationships are a partnership; they are about give and take. While it is never always 50/50, if a man takes more than he gives, he is leading you on.
As much as most people say relationships are 50/50, they can never be. According to Brené Brown, professor, and author, relationships are never 50/50.
It is about giving what you have and your partner covering for you.
For instance, if your partner comes home at 20% energy, you give 80%, and vice versa.
However, if you are the only one who gives the most in the relationship and your partner is always at a deficit, he is leading you on. No one is always at a deficit; he simply doesn’t want to make an effort.
If a man loves you, he will give as much as he takes, whether emotionally, financially, or physically.
9. He Disappears On You
If the guy you are seeing keeps disappearing for a long time without an explanation, he is leading you on.
A person interested in you will be there for you and will make an effort to reach out. If he is unavailable for whatever reason, he will tell you beforehand and let you know when he will be available.
However, a guy leading you on will disappear on you for hours, days, or even weeks and not care about you or your feelings.
A man who keeps disappearing on you is leading you and may be hiding something from you. Maybe he has a girlfriend or is doing something he shouldn’t be doing.
That being said, it is hard to know what’s going on without investigating. But this is not something you should put up with; you deserve better.
10. He Moves Too Fast
We all want someone who loves us, but if a guy loves you too much and too fast. He may be infatuated with you and leading you on.
When a guy doesn’t take the time to grow your love, and you feel he is moving too fast, he is leading you on.
So, if a guy moves too fast and you ask yourself what he likes about you and if he knows enough about you to love iyou, he may be moving too fast and leading you on. He will lead you on and leave you high and dry.
11. He Doesn’t Keep His Word
A person who loves you will keep his promises to you and will only make promises he knows he can keep. However, if he is leading you on, he will make promises to make you happy but will never keep the promises.
For instance, if he tells you he will call you and doesn’t or makes plans with you and cancels them at the last minute, he is leading you on.
A man’s word is his bond; if he can’t keep his word, he is not invested in the relationship and is only leading you on.
12. He Is Only Affectionate In Bed
If a man is only affectionate in bed, he is leading you on. A man leading you on will not want to have an emotional connection with you. They will slack in all other aspects of the relationship except the bedroom.
Often, a guy leading you on will only want to be with you because he wants sex; after that, he will not give you attention. So, if a guy is only affectionate in bed, he is leading you on.
Moreover, according to psychologist Dr. Natalie Coleman, a man leading you on will withhold affection and intimacy to maintain control and keep an emotional distance.
So, if he is only affectionate in bed and doesn’t want emotional intimacy, he is leading you on.
13. He Is Hot and Cold
It is very frustrating when you are in a relationship with an inconsistent guy. He is in love with you one minute, and the next, he ghosts you for a week.
A guy leading you on will be hot and cold with you. You can’t rely on him because he is inconsistent and unreliable. He says he will do something and not do it.
For instance, I dated a guy who would love bomb me one minute, wanted to hang out with me and spend quality time with me, and then ghosted me for a week later.
When I asked, he said he was busy or stressed and didn’t want to be bothered.
After some time, he would come back, and the cycle would continue. When I realized what I was putting up with, I left.
So, if a guy is confusing you with his hot and cold behavior, he is leading you on, and it may be time to move on.
14. He Flirts with Other Women
If your partner flirts with other women and doesn’t create boundaries in your relationship, he is leading you on.
When someone is serious about you, they will create healthy boundaries in your relationship and will not want to have anyone jeopardize what you have.
However, if he is leading you on, he will flirt with other people and will not care how you feel about it.
15. You Have a Feeling
If you feel he is leading you on, he is leading you on. Sometimes you may not have the evidence he is leading you, but you have a gut feeling, don’t ignore your instincts; they never fail you.
Your instincts will rarely fail you; if you feel something is wrong, chances are you are right. So, if you have a feeling he is leading you on, look for more signs he is leading you on.
Parting Shot
It is confusing to be with someone who leads you on. However, you may not always know when he is leading you on. If you think a guy is leading you on, you should look out for some signs.
Some signs he is leading you include not making long-term plans, you are the one who is always initiating conversations, he is emotionally unavailable, and he doesn’t put an effort into the relationship.
Moreover, if a guy doesn’t show you off, is secretive with his phone, takes more than he gives, is only affectionate in bed, and flirts with other women, he is leading you on.
Additionally, if he doesn’t keep his word, moves too fast, and is inconsistent, he is leading you on.
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