“What do you think of me?” This might be the most complicated question anyone can ask you. You will probably draw a blank when someone asks you what you think about them. You may be more confused when a guy asks what you think about him.
Human beings are social beings and crave the approval and validation of others. This is especially true if you are in a relationship.
So, when a guy asks you what you think about him, you should first think about your relationship with the guy and the context.
Guys will ask what you think of them, looking for positive feedback. However, as much as we aim to please, you should be honest when you answer this question. Nonetheless, do not try to be rude or hurt the person.
Before you answer, when a guy asks you what you think about him, you should also ask yourself a few questions.
Should you tell him what you think about him? Can he handle the truth? Does he really want to know the truth?
This article will examine reasons a guy will ask you what you think about him and how to answer the question.
Reasons A Guy Will Ask What You Think About Him
Everyone needs validation now and then. So, why would a guy ask you what you think about him?
Here are a few reasons a guy will ask you what you think about him.
1. He Is Attracted To You
If a guy asks you what you think about him, it could mean he is attracted to you and wants to know if you are attracted to him too.
If the guy asks you when you are alone together and shows positive body language. He is attracted to you. So, how do you know if a guy is attracted to you?
According to Daniel, founder of Body Language Central, here are a few signs to show a man is attracted to you.
- He mirrors your body language.
- He stands closer to you when he talks to you than he does other people.
- He finds excuses to touch you.
- He is anxious when you are with other men.
- He concentrates on talking to you when you are in a group.
- He positions himself near you when you are in a group.
- He speaks to you with a deeper voice than he does other people.
- He asks your friends about you
- He maintains eye contact with you.
- He stares at you and looks away.
- He keeps an eye on you when you are with other guys.
- His feet point towards you when he talks.
2. He Thinks You Like Him
If a guy thinks you like him, he will ask you what you think about him. If he asked you what you think about him because he thinks you like him, you could have been giving him signals that you are attracted to him.
You may have been giving him a lot of attention which gave him the impression you like him. On the other hand, one of your friends may have told him you like him, and he wants to confirm with you.
3. He Thinks You Don’t Like Him
If you give a man the impression that you don’t like him, he may want to know for sure and may ask you what you think about him.
We all want people to like us, and it bothers many people when they know someone doesn’t like them and will want to know why someone doesn’t like them.
So, if a guy gets the impression you don’t like him, he may ask you what you think about him.
According to Daniel, when someone thinks you don’t like them, they will show signs of anxiousness and may do some things like;
- Avoid eye contact with you.
- Rub his arms when talking to you.
- Talk at a higher pitch.
- Scratch his neck when around you.
4. He Is Shy
Sometimes a man will ask you what you think about him if he likes you, but he is too shy and is afraid to tell you.
If a guy likes you and is too shy to tell you, he will ask you what you think about him to know if he has a chance with you. He may consider pursuing a relationship with you if he gets a positive answer.
How To Answer When A Guy Asks You What You Think About Him
The answer to “What do you think about me?” depends on many things. One of the main things to consider when answering the question is context and your relationship with the person.
1. Consider The Context
Before you answer, when a guy asks you what you think about him, you need to consider the context of the situation.
For example, if you are in a romantic relationship with a guy, your answer may carry more weight than if you are acquaintances.
According to Dr. John M. Grohol, a psychologist and founder of Psych Central, “It is important to consider the context in which someone is asking you a question.
Is it a casual conversation? Is it a deep, meaningful discussion? Is it the person asking in an open and inviting way, or are they defensive?”
If a guy is defensive or has a history of being sensitive, you should be more careful about answering the question. You do not want to hurt his feelings.
2. Be Honest and Kind
When answering a question about what you think about a guy, your response must be honest and kind. Honesty is the best policy; however, it is also vital to be kind and respectful.
Even if you have to give him a negative answer, start by acknowledging the guy’s strength and mentioning the areas he could improve.
According to Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts Amherst and author of The Search for Fulfillment, “When you’re giving feedback, you want to start with something positive. Then you can bring up areas of improvement in a constructive way.”
For instance, you could say, “I really admire your work ethic and dedication to your work.
However, sometimes I feel like you don’t make time for the people and things that matter most to you. It will be helpful to set aside some time each week for your family and friends.”
3. Communicate Your Feelings
When a guy asks you what you think about him, it is essential to communicate your feelings when answering the question.
Be empathetic and understanding, and share your thoughts in a kind and respectful way.
According to Dr. Julie Exline, a professor of psychology at Case Western Reserve University, “When you’re communicating your feelings, it’s important to use “I” statements rather than “You” statements. This helps the other person understand how you’re feeling without feeling attacked or criticized.”
For instance, you could say, “I really appreciate your sense of humor and how easy you are to talk to. However, sometimes I feel you disregard my feelings, which can be quite hurtful.”
4. Offer Suggestions On How He Can Improve Himself
When answering the question “What do you think about me?” it is good to give suggestions on how the guy can improve himself.
This shows that you are not only criticizing him, and you genuinely want him to improve.
According to Dr. Todd Kashdan, a professor of psychology at George Mason University, “When giving feedback, it’s important to be specific and give actionable advice.
For example, saying things like ‘just be more confident’ isn’t helpful. Instead, offer concrete suggestions for improvement.”
For example, you could say something like, “I think it would be helpful for you to work on being more patient with others.
Maybe you could try practicing mindfulness or taking a few breaths when you feel yourself getting frustrated.”
So, How Should You Answer?
The answer to “What do you think about me?” depends on your relationship with the guy and your intentions.
Are you looking to pursue a relationship with him, or do you want him to be just a friend? The answer should reflect your intentions; you do not want to get into a serious relationship when you only meant to flirt with him.
Do not give him the wrong idea if you need to know him better. Moreover, if you are just flirting with him, you do not want to lead him on and give him false hopes.
The best answer to this question is, “I think you are a great guy, and I like spending time with you.” This shows you like him, but you will not give too much away.
If a guy asks you what you think about him, he is ready to take your answer and respond with how he feels.
“What do you think about me?” is a loaded question. We all need validation at some point. There are many reasons a guy will ask you what you think about him.
Some of the reasons may be because he is attracted to you, thinks you like him, or thinks you don’t like him.
When answering a guy who asks you what you think about him, you should consider your relationship with the guy and the context of the conversation.
Moreover, you should be honest but kind, communicate your feelings, and offer helpful suggestions to help him improve.
When responding to the question, it would help to look at the guy’s body language. This will give you an idea of how he responds to your answer.
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com
Sarah Williams is an author at CandidHaven.com she is an expert in human psychology having graduated with an M.S. in Psychology.
Sarah has extensive experience in relationships and dating therapy having worked for over 6 years with different groups of people including teens, dating couples, and married people.
She is a lover of life, and self-development and believes everyone deserves to be in a fulfilling relationship. Sarah loves reading self-help books and doing research on human psychology.