If you think your girlfriend is obsessed with you, this article will explain some of the signs of obsession and what you can do about it.
It is both flattering and overwhelming when your girlfriend is obsessed with you. It is nice to feel loved and appreciated; however, when your girlfriend is excessively focused on you, it can be a red flag.
But there is a limit, when someone is so much into you, you will feel they are overly obsessed with and suffocating you.
When your girlfriend is obsessed with you, it will lead to many problems in the relationship, including possessiveness, controlling behavior, and jealousy, eventually harming the relationship.
Signs Your Girlfriend Is Obsessed With You
Some of the signs your girlfriend is obsessed with you include the following;
1. She Always Texts Or Calls You
You want to stay in communication with your girlfriend when you are in a relationship. However, if your girlfriend constantly calls and texts you, it is a sign of obsession.
Healthy relationships allow for space in your conversations. However, an obsessed girlfriend will feel like she must stay connected to you all day.
You will also need to reply to her messages and calls immediately. If you don’t, she will get annoyed with you.
Constant texts and calls will become a problem in the long run because you will never have time for yourself and will be unable to do your work or concentrate on school.
Nonetheless, it is okay to text each other once or twice during the day to see how your girlfriend is doing.
2. She Is Jealous Of Your Friends
Your girlfriend is obsessed with you if they are jealous of your friends. In a healthy relationship, your girlfriend should be okay with you hanging out with your friends.
So, if she is jealous of the time you spend with your friends, it is a red flag.
Each one must have a life outside the relationship. You need time to decompress and talk to someone other than your partner.
However, when your girlfriend is obsessed with you, you will not have time for your friends and family.
An obsessed girlfriend may have no friends of her own and will want to spend all her waking hours with you.
However, sometimes your girlfriend doesn’t want you to go clubbing with your friends because of past issues.
But she is obsessed if she has issues with you spending time with your friend playing video games or watching movies.
3. She Always Wants To Hang Out With You
If your girlfriend does not want to stay away from you and always wants to hang out with you, she is obsessed with you.
It is flattering when your girlfriend wants to hang out with you, but it will suffocate you if she does not want to spend time away from you.
It could also be a sign your girlfriend is insecure and is afraid you might talk to other women when she is away.
Moreover, an obsessed girlfriend will think you no longer like her when you want to spend time away from her.
4. She Stalks You
When your girlfriend is obsessed with you, she will stalk you. She will stalk you on social media and in real life.
According to Anne Duvaux, a marriage coach and psychologist, when a person is obsessed with you, they will constantly check up on you.
They will be all over your social media to see what you post, who, and when you post.
An obsessed girlfriend wants to know who you are talking to on social media. Moreover, they always want you to speak with them when you are online, and she will get mad at you for not talking to her.
5. She Manipulates You
When your girlfriend is obsessed with you, she will manipulate you to do what she expects you to do. Sometimes, you may find she may even feign sickness so she can spend time with you.
An obsessed girlfriend will gaslight you and try to control all aspects of your life, including who you hang out with.
They may even ask you not to see your family and friends because they will “steal” the time she wants to spend with you.
An obsessed girlfriend will even stop talking to you if you spend time with others. This is because her world revolves around you, and she wants your world to revolve around her too.
What To Do If Your Girlfriend Is Obsessed With You
Having an obsessive girlfriend will eventually take a toll on your relationship. If your girlfriend is obsessed, you will want to change the situation sooner than later.
Some of the things you can do if your girlfriend is obsessed with you include;
1. Talk To Her
If your girlfriend is obsessed with you, you can talk to her about her behavior. You may be surprised to learn she is not aware she is obsessed.
Moreover, talking with her will help you better understand where she is coming from and what could have led to her behavior.
That being said, you should not use accusatory language when talking to her, as it can make the situation worse.
Use “I” statements when talking to her instead of “You” statements. For instance, instead of saying, “You are suffocating me.” You should say, “I feel suffocated.”
The second statement makes it about you and not about her.
2. Encourage Her To Make Friends
If your girlfriend is obsessed with you and wants to spend all her waking hours with you, you should encourage her to make friends.
When you have no friends, your life will mainly revolve around your partner, and you will always want to be with them.
So, encouraging your girlfriend to make more friends will help with the obsession; she will spend more time with her new friends and give you some breathing room.
You can help her make friends by introducing her to your girlfriends, encouraging her to make friends with her co-workers, and encouraging her to take up a hobby where she can make new friends.
3. Set Healthy Boundaries
When your girlfriend is obsessed with you, she will be too clingy and violate the relationship’s boundaries.
According to Joshua Sigafus, a dating coach, it is important to set healthy boundaries at the beginning of a relationship. However, the longer you take to set and enforce boundaries, the harder it will be.
Sometimes your girlfriend may not even realize they are obsessive. If they were in previous relationships and behaved the same way without their ex pointing it out, they may believe this is how a relationship should be.
For instance, if her ex did not have friends, they wouldn’t have minded spending a lot of time with her; however, because you have a life outside the relationship, you will need time to spend with your friends.
Moreover, your girlfriend may be dealing with past traumas and abandonment issues, and having you away from her will trigger her issues.
4. State Your Expectations
When you start dating, make your expectations clear to your girlfriend. Tell them what you need to do in the relationship and what you can offer, and have them state their expectations too.
Open communication with your expectations will help you know if you are compatible, to begin with.
When you have expectations, your girlfriend will rein in her obsessive behavior because she knows what you can and cannot tolerate.
Always keep the lines of communication open in the relationship; it will help you communicate your expectations without judgment.
5. Spend More Quality Time With Her
As much as you are setting boundaries in the relationship, you should also spend quality time with your girlfriend.
Quality time will assure your girlfriend that you still love her and do not want to spend time away from her because you are talking to other people or cheating on her.
Quality time with your girlfriend could be anything from playing games, engaging in her hobbies, or watching a movie together.
Ensure you are present during the time you spend with her. For example, if you are always on your phone, keep it away and give her your full attention; it will make her feel more appreciated and loved.
For instance, if you want to go out with the boys or play video games, set aside some time to spend with her, take her out to a nice dinner, and engage her. Listen to her when she talks, and remember to listen to understand and not to answer.
Moreover, your girlfriend wants you to be there for her as a sounding board and not to solve her problems. Sometimes all we want is someone to vent to.
If you love your girlfriend, you want to invest quality time in her.
6. Encourage Her To Take Up A New Hobby
In most cases, your girlfriend is obsessed with you because you are the only person in her social circle. One of the best ways to overcome your girlfriend’s obsession is to encourage her to take up new hobbies.
A hobby will help her meet new people and make friends. She will also have something to occupy her time away from you, and you can grow individually.
According to Jenni Jacobsen, a licensed clinical social worker, having a hobby will be a good distraction from obsessive behavior; it will give you something better to do than obsess about your partner.
7. Encourage Her To Spend Time With Her Family
If your girlfriend is obsessed with you, you will feel suffocated and want to have some time alone. This is especially so if you are an introvert who needs a lot of me time.
Encouraging your girlfriend to spend some time with her family will give you breathing space, and the time away from you may help with her obsessiveness.
If nothing else, it will remind her that she has other people she can talk to apart from you.
8. Encourage Her To Talk To A Therapist
If your girlfriend is obsessed with you and you have done everything in your power to help her, it may be time to involve a professional.
A therapist will help her understand the root cause of her obsession and work towards making better choices.
In addition, they will give her tools to work on her obsession, avoid any triggers and work towards healthier relationship dynamics in the future.
According to psychologists, obsessive behavior can be a sign of an underlying mental health condition such as anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
A therapist will help your girlfriend understand and manage her condition better.
9. Leave Her
It is worth noting that obsessive behavior can be a sign of an abusive relationship. If your girlfriend shows signs of emotional abuse and manipulation, it may be time to call it quits. Some of the signs your girlfriend is abusive include;
- She is dictating who you should hang out with.
- She isolates you from your friends and family.
- She is guilt-tripping you.
- She stalks you.
- Her love is conditional.
- She uses threats and ultimatums to get you to do what she wants.
- She is a narcissist.
Sometimes when your girlfriend is obsessed with you, you may feel insecure because she is always watching you. You may fear what she will do if she finds you talking to someone else.
You may want to break up with her if this is your situation. Feeling secure in a relationship is important if you can’t have that anymore, it’s time to move on.
You deserve better than someone who is always on your case.
Final Thoughts
Having a girlfriend who loves you and likes spending time with you is flattering. However, when love becomes an obsession, it will be unhealthy for the relationship.
Obsessive behavior may indicate an underlying mental condition like anxiety or obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Many signs show your girlfriend may be obsessed with you, including her texting and calling you all the time, jealousy of your friends, and manipulation.
Moreover, when your girlfriend is obsessed with you, if she always wants to hang out with you, stalks you, and manipulates you.
You can do several things if your girlfriend is obsessed with you. Some of these include; encouraging her to make new friends, have hobbies, and see her family more.
On the other hand, you can talk to her about seeing a therapist so that she can deal with the underlying conditions.
You should also set healthy boundaries in the relationship and clearly state your expectations. However, if your girlfriend has become abusive, it may be time to leave and seek a healthier relationship.
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