My Boyfriend Ignores Me For Days (9 Reasons Why)

This article discusses why your boyfriend ignores you for days and what you can do about it. 

There are various common explanations for why your boyfriend might be ignoring you.

Firstly, he might be annoyed with you due to a recent disagreement, and instead of expressing his hurt feelings, he retreats and stays silent.

Alternatively, he could be experiencing emotional pain, leading him to withdraw and avoid communication.

Another possibility is that he contemplates ending the relationship and ignores you to avoid a difficult conversation.

According to Professor Kipling Williams, “Excluding and ignoring people, such as giving them the cold shoulder or silent treatment, are used to punish or manipulate, and people may not realize the emotional or physical harm being done.”

The silent treatment damages a relationship, whether romantic or otherwise. This is because when you experience silent treatment, the pain registers in the part of the brain that detects physical pain.

The pain is the same whether the treatment is from your boyfriend or strangers. Research shows that silent treatment reduces feelings of intimacy, partner satisfaction, and healthy communication.

Reasons Your Boyfriend Ignores You For Day

It hurts when your boyfriend ignores you for days; you may wonder what you did to deserve the silent treatment.

Some of the most common reasons why your boyfriend could be ignoring you include the following; 

1. He Is Annoyed with You

If your boyfriend is annoyed with you, he may ignore you for days. For example, when you fight with your boyfriend, and he is annoyed with you, he could go for days without talking to you.

Sometimes, your boyfriend could have difficulty opening up about his feelings and retreat when he is annoyed instead of articulating his hurt feelings to.

On the other hand, he may want to cool off after an argument before he can talk to you. Occasionally when you are mad at someone, you do not want to be near the negativity. So, you give yourself time before thinking about your problems.

For instance, when I am mad at my boyfriend, I will ignore him until I cool off, and we can have a conversation when I am more level-headed.

If your boyfriend is like me, he may want time to cool off before talking to you when he is mad at you.

On the other hand, your boyfriend could be mad at you and not tell you. He instead ignores you and waits for you to read into his actions.

2. He May Be Feeling Hurt

It is possible that your boyfriend is experiencing emotional pain. In certain instances, partners tend to withdraw both verbally and emotionally when they are hurting.

If your boyfriend is ignoring you, it could be a result of feelings of resentment and anger, leading him to avoid communication.

Alternatively, he might be feeling hurt and struggling to articulate his thoughts and emotions. If you suspect this is the situation, initiating a compassionate dialogue about his emotional well-being can be beneficial.

By approaching him with warmth and understanding and acknowledging his feelings, you are more likely to open up a constructive conversation.

3. He Is Thinking About Leaving You

If your boyfriend ignores you, it could mean he is losing interest and wants to break up with you. Unfortunately, some people are poor communicators; instead of telling you what they think, they will ghost you.

It could be he is thinking of breaking up with you, or he may have decided to break up with you already. To avoid a painful conversation, your boyfriend may ignore you. 

However, this is a cowardly way to end a relationship. It shows the person’s maturity level and how much he values the relationship.

If your boyfriend ignores his best friends or family, too, it could mean he has trouble expressing his feelings, resulting in ignoring the wrong people. You are better off without him if he ignores you instead of breaking up.

4. He Is Stressed

Your boyfriend could be ignoring you because he is stressed. For example, if your boyfriend is having a hard time at work or school, he may ignore you and concentrate on his problems.

This is quite hurting; in a healthy relationship, you want your partner to lean on you when they are going through something difficult.

However, this is not always the case; some people retreat when dealing with a hard situation.

When most people are stressed, they tend to isolate themselves to have time to deal with their problems; your boyfriend may be one of them.

For instance, when I am stressed, I switch off my phone to get some time to myself. Of course, it is not good behavior, especially in this age when we depend on electronics for most communication, but it gives me peace. 

When I am stressed and feel overwhelmed and go into survival mode, I do not think about anyone else but myself. I do everything within my power to get back to my normal routine.

Sometimes your boyfriend may be depressed; one of the major signs of depression is isolation.

So, do not be too quick to judge when your boyfriend ignores you for days. Instead, contact him and try to find out why he is ignoring you.

5. He Is Cheating On You

If your boyfriend ignores you for days, he could be cheating on you, it would be best if you looked into other signs that he may be cheating on you.

If your boyfriend sees other people, he may distance himself from you for the time he is cheating.

He may ignore you because he is feeling guilty about cheating. On the other hand, he may be ignoring you because he does not want you to see him with his other women.

Nevertheless, it would be best not to go psychotic on him. Do your investigations if you think he is cheating on you instead of jumping to conclusions.

6. He Is Busy

Your boyfriend could be ignoring you because he is genuinely busy. For example, if your boyfriend is busy with a work or school project that is demanding much of his time and energy, he may ignore you for a few days until he completes the project.

There are better ways to handle it; if your boyfriend knows he will have something that will take up much of his time and energy, it is courteous to inform you beforehand so you may not be worried and understand his absence.

7. He Needs Space

Your boyfriend could ignore you because he feels suffocated and needs his space. Sometimes, if you are too demanding, your boyfriend could ignore you to get some space.

Sometimes he may ignore you because he is overwhelmed by personal life things, not necessarily something you did. 

For instance, if your boyfriend is an introvert, he may need a lot of me time. So, when he feels overwhelmed, he will ignore everyone for a few days to get his feeling in order.

He may not want to openly tell you that he is overwhelmed and ignores you instead. However, there are better ways to handle the situation than this, as it leaves you guessing.

8. He Is Using the Silent Treatment as A Manipulation Tactic

Your boyfriend may be ignoring you as a form of silent treatment, which can be a manipulative tactic used to control and manipulate you.

According to Kipling Williams, a psychology professor at Purdue University, silent treatment is a form of ostracism that can have severe consequences for the victim’s mental health.

Williams’s research indicates that two-thirds of individuals have used or experienced silent treatment.

Your boyfriend can employ silent treatment as it allows him to avoid looking abusive to others while effectively making you, the targeted individual, feel bad.

Silent treatment can be particularly insidious because it can coerce you into seeking reconciliation, even without knowing the reason for apologizing.

Studies have shown that social rejection activates brain regions associated with emotional and physical pain.

Furthermore, the silent treatment can become addictive for the person using it, leading to a constant state of anger and negativity.

Ultimately, the silent treatment reflects more on the person employing it than on the person experiencing it, and it may be necessary to consider leaving the relationship if the behavior persists.

9. You Lied to Him 

Your boyfriend will ignore you if you lied to him and he finds out. In a relationship, you want to have confidence that you can trust your partner.

Relationships thrive on trust and honesty; if you lie to your boyfriend, you will break his trust.  

According to Dr. Joseph Cilona, a clinical therapist, white lies are normal in a relationship. These are small lies that do not affect the lives of the people involved. 

However, some other big lies can break a relationship, according to Ramani Durvasula, a relationship coach and author of Should I Stay or Should I Go?

You may have lied to your boyfriend to protect and not hurt him. However, when your boyfriend finds out you lied, he may not want to understand that you did it to protect him.

He may ignore you to give himself more space to try and understand what the lie meant and to know if he will forgive you.

What Do You Do When Your Boyfriend Ignores You

Your boyfriend ignoring you is painful and takes a toll on the mental health of the relationship.

When you get the silent treatment, your brain registers it as physical pain. No one wants to feel pain, and you will do anything not to feel the pain.

Here are a few things you can do when your boyfriend or partner ignores you for days

1. Speak with Him

According to Steven McCornack, a communications expert, open communication is crucial in a romantic relationship.

Therefore, if your boyfriend ignores you for days, engaging him in a conversation about why he is doing so is best.

Make your boyfriend realize that he is hurting you by ignoring you, then call him out on his behavior and ensure you do not come off confrontational. 

If you come off confrontational, he will get defensive and not listen to your reasoning, as he will see it as an attack. Be polite when talking to him and practice good listening skills.

You want to feel heard but also hear him out first. If you open up and talk about your feelings first, your boyfriend will also open up about his, telling you why he is ignoring you.

2. Give Him His Space

Your boyfriend may ignore you because he feels overwhelmed and needs his space. The best thing you can do in this situation is to give him time to figure out his feelings. 

Give him the space he craves so he may deal with his issues and get back to his normal routine.

If he ignores you because he is mad at you, giving him some space will help him cool off, and you can have a level-headed conversation and solve your issues.

3. Do Something Fun

If your boyfriend ignores you, do not have a pity party. Instead, go out and do something fun, hang out with your friends, and participate in activities that bring you joy.

If you need to distract yourself from the pain of your boyfriend ignoring you, you can take up a new hobby to fill your time. Focus your life on yourself and grow.

For instance, if someone ignores me, I hang out with my friends and vent to them. I also read a book or watch a movie. These activities distract me from the fact that my boyfriend is ignoring me.

4. Break Up with Him

If your boyfriend ignores you for days because he is cheating on you or thinking of breaking up with you, the best you can do for yourself is to break up with him.

Sometimes, ending a relationship is easier than having someone string you along and he does not want to be with you. 

It is better to hurt now than spend the rest of the relationship hurting because you are with someone who doesn’t love you or is with you as an obligation.  

5. Offer to Help

If your boyfriend ignores you because he is stressed about work or school, you can offer to help him with his projects.

If you cannot work on the projects with him, you can offer to tick off some other things on his to-do list.

For instance, if a work or school project is taking up much of his time, you can offer to do his laundry or pick up his groceries, these are small tasks, but it takes a lot of pressure from his busy schedule.

6. Seek Professional Help

If you have talked to your boyfriend about his ignoring you and he still does it, you may want to seek professional help. Talk to your boyfriend about talking to a therapist. 

A professional will help you communicate better with your boyfriend reducing relationship conflict. A therapist will also help you understand why he ignores you. 

Sometimes your boyfriend ignores you because he is going through some crisis in his life. A professional will help him deal with his issues.

For instance, if your boyfriend has deep-rooted abandonment issues from childhood, he may ignore you for days.

In addition to online therapy, a therapist will help you process your feelings and deal with them appropriately in in-person therapy too.

Final Thoughts On Boyfriend Ignoring You

If your boyfriend ignores you for days, it has the same impact on your brain as if you are experiencing physical pain.

There are many reasons why your boyfriend could be ignoring you; he could be stressed, he needs space, he may be feeling hurt, he may be cheating on you, or he is annoyed with you.

When your boyfriend is ignoring you for days, you should talk to him about it and have an honest conversation about his feelings and yours.

If your boyfriend ignores you because he is cheating on you or seeing other people, it would be best to end the relationship. 

However, if you feel the relationship is salvageable, you should see a therapist to help you work on your relationship difficulties. 

Photo by Trinity Kubassek on

Photo by Trinity Kubassek on

Leave a Comment