In this article, we will examine why your boyfriend has many female friends, when to get worried and what you should do about it.
The age-old question is can men and women be just friends?
If your boyfriend has a lot of female friends, you may be worried that it may turn into something more than a platonic friendship.
It is normal for males to have female friends; as an adult, it is easy to understand. However, if you are a teenager just starting dating, your boyfriend having many female friends may bother you.
However, there is nothing to worry about. Your boyfriend may be more comfortable associating with women than with males.
According to Craig Lambert, founder of Lambert Couple Therapy, it is healthy to have friends of both sexes; he also says that this friendship enriches your partner’s life. It is particularly more important if your boyfriend does not have sisters.
If your boyfriend has a lot of female friends, it is better to understand why he has them and what it means to him before you jump to conclusions and get jealous.
Reasons Your Boyfriend Has Many Female Friends
If your boyfriend has many female friends, you may worry and want to know why he has them. However, before you get jealous and insecure about your boyfriend’s female friends, you should understand his reasons for having female friends. Here are a few reasons why your boyfriend may have many female friends.
1. He Gets Along Better With Women
Some men get along better with women. For example, your boyfriend may get along better with women if he is not into “masculine” hobbies and activities.
For instance, men are expected to love sports and gaming; if your boyfriend is not into these things, he may not get along with many male friends and may gravitate towards female friends.
With societal conditions, your boyfriend may feel better hanging out with female friends than male friends.
Of course, this does not mean he will go to the salon with them, but he will feel better and more confident around his female friends than he could be hanging out with male friends.
2. He Likes Being Around Strong Women
If your boyfriend grew up around strong women, he would appreciate having strong women around him.
For instance, if your boyfriend grew up with many sisters and a strong mother who influenced his life, he will want to have the influence of strong women in his life, even as an adult.
He will feel at home with strong women even when he is dating, and that does not mean he has feelings for them.
So before you jump to conclusions, think about what role the women play in his life.
3. He Makes Friends Easily
It is hard for many men to be friendly with women. So if your boyfriend has a lot of female friends, it could mean he is nice and friendly to women, and they find it easy to trust him.
Women like fun people; if your boyfriend is fun, he will have many female friends. Moreover, friendly people easily strike and keep a conversation going.
For instance, my boyfriend is a people person; he is friendly to women and takes every chance to protect the women around him, whether known to him or not.
With this trait, he has a lot of female friends. I am happy for him because it makes him happy to have his friends, and he has set clear boundaries with them.
4. He Is a Player
This is what most women think when they see their boyfriend has a lot of female friends. However, it is not always true, but wish as we might, sometimes your boyfriend has female friends because he is a player, plain and simple.
If your boyfriend has a history of cheating with his female friends, chances are that he will cheat again. If you are worried that your boyfriend is a player, here are some signs to look out for;
- He love bombs you– if your boyfriend starts telling you that he loves you and you are his soulmate way early in the relationship, it is a red flag that he is a player. Players love bomb you to make you feel special.
- The sex is great, but there is no intimacy– contrary to popular belief, sex does not equal intimacy. If all you get from your boyfriend is sex and no emotional attachment, he may be a player.
- He is always on his phone– if your boyfriend is always on his phone texting and he does not let you near it, he is a player. Players are always on their phones, juggling the many women in their lives.
- He does not plan for the future– if you have been dating for a while and your boyfriend does not mention any plans for the future, he may be a player. It is only natural for you to start discussing the future at some point in the relationship, but if he shoots down any ideas concerning your future and the dates are vague, he is a player.
- You are not on his social media– if your boyfriend is active on social media and he does not post anything about you, he is a player. He will not show you off because he does not want his other girlfriends to see you.
- He does not introduce you to his friends and family– if you have been dating your boyfriend for a while and have not met any of his friends and family, it could be he is a player. Moreover, if you happen to bump into his friends in town, he will not introduce you.
- He is a flirt– if your boyfriend flirts with everyone he meets, from the hostess to the waitress and the store attendant, he is a player. You may also notice that he checks out other women with you.
5. He Grew Up with Sisters
If your boyfriend comes from a family with many girls, he will be comfortable around women and may have many female friends.
He will want something familiar, and it will also be easy for him to make friends with women.
6. He Wants To Make You Jealous
If your boyfriend has a lot of female friends, he may want to make you jealous. He wants to show you that he has many options if you ever decide to leave him.
It is hard to swallow, but your boyfriend may have many friends to keep his options open. If this is the case, he will not let you meet any of his female friends.
He will also flirt with his female friends and hide his conversations from you.
7. He Like The Attention
Your boyfriend may have a lot of female friends because he likes the attention he gets from his female friends.
On the other hand, he may enjoy the attention he gets from you because of his female friends. I know it’s twisted, but some men enjoy making their girlfriends jealous of other females so they can pay more attention to them.
When Should You Get Worried If Your Boyfriend Has A Lot Of Female Friends
Your boyfriend had a life before you, and it will include female friends. However, when you come into his life, you expect he will set some boundaries to protect your relationship. Nonetheless, sometimes you worry about your boyfriend’s female friend.
So, when is it okay to worry?
1. When He Does Not Give You Attention
It is irrational to expect your boyfriend to be there for you 24/7. However, it is rational to want his undivided attention when he is with you.
If your boyfriend constantly texts his female friends when with you, that’s a cause for concern.
You should only allow it if the friend is having an emergency. However, you should be on the lookout as some friends may take advantage and create fake emergencies. Moreover, it may be a red flag if your boyfriend moves away from you when talking to his female friends.
2. If His Friends Hate You
If your boyfriend’s female friends hate you, you should worry, especially if you tend to get along well with other females.
It could be that one of the friends likes your boyfriend, and all the other friends know it, but your boyfriend is unaware.
On the other hand, they could have loved his ex and are not happy that you are together, and they may be working on splitting you two up.
3. He Confides In Them More Than You
When you are in a relationship, you want to be your boyfriend’s confidant and him yours. You should worry if your boyfriend confides more in his female friend than in you.
We only confide in people we feel safe with and trust. If your boyfriend doesn’t confide in you and instead runs to his female friends, it may show his lack of trust in you, and you should address this issue before it gets out of hand.
4. His Friend Flirt With Him
If his female friends flirt with him, you have reason to worry. Women rarely flirt with people they do not like. So if his female friends flirt with him, it means they like him and may want you out of the picture so that they may have him all to themselves.
5. They Never Invite You Anywhere
If your boyfriend has many female friends and they do not invite you when going out, it may be cause for concern.
It is okay to have alone time and have individual lives away from each other. However, you should worry if your boyfriend doesn’t invite you anytime they go out with his female friends.
It could mean that he likes them more than he lets on. It would help if you asked your boyfriend why he does not invite you instead of guessing and jumping to conclusions.
What To Do If Your Boyfriend Has A Lot Of Female Friends
If your boyfriend has many female friends, you may wonder what to do if you are worried about them. There are several things to do if you are worried about your boyfriend’s female friends. They include the following;
1. Talk to him
If your boyfriend has a lot of female friends and you are worried about them, you should talk to him about them. Ask him why he has many female friends and what they mean to him.
It would help if you also told him how having many female friends affects you. According to Steven McCornack in his book, Reflect and Relate- An Introduction To Interpersonal Communication openness is one of the strategies to maintain a romantic relationship.
So open up to him and let him open up to you about his reasons for having his female friends.
2. Set Boundaries
If your boyfriend has a lot of female friends, you should encourage him to set healthy boundaries with his friends.
For instance, if he goes out with his friends every weekend, you can ask him to minimize the time he spends with them and spare more time with you.
You may also request him to minimize the time he spends texting them and not tell them every detail of your relationship.
3. Meet His Friends
If your boyfriend has a lot of female friends, it will help if you meet them to keep your mind at ease.
Ask your boyfriend to introduce you to his friend; if nothing is going on between them, he will be happy to introduce you. However, if he is hesitant, then your worries are justified.
You may like his friends and may make friends with them.
4. Trust Him
If your boyfriend has a lot of female friends, give him the benefit of the doubt. Trust is important in every relationship. You should trust your boyfriend and not be insecure.
If your boyfriend has not given you a reason to worry, you should not be worried until he gives you a reason to.
If what he is doing does not affect your confidence, you should ignore it but keep an eye out; if he does something suspicious, you should call him out.
5. Quit The Relationship
If your boyfriend has a lot of friends because he is a player, it is time to call it quits. Likewise, if your boyfriend takes you for granted, gaslights you, or disregards your feelings, you should leave.
You deserve someone who appreciates you and treats you well.
Related Reading: Can A Man Forget A Woman He Slept With? (10 Possible Reasons)
Conclusion
It is normal for your boyfriend to have female friends. If your boyfriend has a lot of female friends, it may be because he was raised by strong women and enjoys the company of strong women. On the other hand, he may be a player, or he wants to make you jealous.
Some men make friends easily and connect better with women. So you do not need to worry if your boyfriend has a lot of female friends. However, you may worry if he flirts with them, gives them more attention than he gives you, or the friends hate you.
If your boyfriend has many female friends, talk to him about it, tell him how it makes you feel, and ask him to set healthy boundaries with them.
If your boyfriend has a lot of female friends because he is a player, it is time to move on. You deserve someone who loves you and appreciates you.
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