Is your boyfriend boring? You know that he is the best catch for a serious relationship. He is a loving and sweet, and committed guy. But he no longer excites you.
If you find yourself in this spot, you are not alone. When you began to date, you couldn’t wait to meet. Everything you did together was fun and exhilarating.
But with time, you fell into a routine. You have a predictable lifestyle that no longer thrills you. You feel he is comfortable and is doing nothing to bring the spark back.
So, what do you do when your boyfriend has a boring personality? Keep reading to discover a few nuggets to help you on how to handle your boring boyfriend.
10 ways to Address your Boyfriend Boring Personality
1. Relive The Reasons Why You got Attracted to Him
After staying with the same person for some time, familiarity may set in. You can get used to the qualities that attracted you to him in the first place.
Reliving the happy moments you had may not bring the spark on. But it can give you reasons why you want to continue the relationship. It could also help you find the missing link.
2. Check what Excites Him
At the beginning of the relationship, your boyfriend may have made concessions to win you. But with time, he may be unwilling to continue doing things that don’t excite him to please you.
For instance, he may be a level-headed man who prefers staying in the house. He can’t stand loud music. And you are the type of girl who unwinds on the dance floor.
If he no longer likes the activities you used to do, you need to know what has changed. Open up to him and tell him how you feel about the current situation.
Work your way through by making concessions that fit both of you.
Take an interest in his hobbies. Everyone has something that excites him. If you realize your boyfriend likes taking nature walks, request to join him.
You can also join him when he spends time with his friend. As much as this is boring to you, it will help you understand his world and where he is coming from.
Studies show that people who make sacrifices often have fulfilling relationships. But it would be best if you created a balance. Healthy concessions should not leave you feeling neglected.
3. Ensure that You are Not the Problem
Sometimes we are so keen on what other people have to offer that we forget our part in the deal. Now it’s time to check yourself out.
Are you happy with other areas of your life? Are you going through some difficulties and expect him to lift your mood, which is not happening?
You used to take the initiative in planning your time together. Now you think your boyfriend knows you well enough to do things to your liking.
Refrain from expecting your boyfriend to fix things you need to work on.
If you find other aspects of your life boring, do something about it. Try some hobbies or activities that excite you.
Re-join that hiking group that you ditched. Take those drives that used to rejuvenate you.
Your boyfriend may see the spark in you and request to join you. If he doesn’t, go ahead and do things that nurture you and brings you to life.
4. Spend Some Time Apart
Psychologists explain that spending time together can strengthen a relationship. Couples who spend too much time together create co-dependency.
They risk losing their identity and ability to do things outside the relationship. This co-dependency also makes them lose interest in other people, lowering their self-worth.
Creating some moderate distance can rekindle the romance in the relationship. Your boyfriend needs some time alone.
You also need your “Me Time”. Solo dinner helps you connect with your inner being. Reconnecting with yourself will make you a more confident and self-reliant partner.
Also, be intentional in cultivating your friendships with other people.
Start working on how you can see each other less often. Let your absence make his heart grow fonder.
5. Find Out What’s Happening in His Life
If your boyfriend is going through other challenges, it could affect your relationship. He might be trying to keep the difficulties away from you to shield you from getting worried.
Do not assume that everything is okay. Check out if he has become withdrawn from other areas of his life. Does he still hang out with the boys?
Also, look out for forced happiness. If your boyfriend seems far away, even when you talk to him, something is eating him up.
If he was enthusiastic before, check for any signs of pessimism. Depressed people often have a pessimistic view of everything in their lives.
If you notice any signs of stress in his life, talk to him and let him know that you are there. Don’t expect much excitement from him until he passes this phase.
6. Get Joint Hobbies
So you know that you do not exactly share the same hobbies? How about reaching a common ground? There must be that one thing that you both like doing.
Go through the memory archives and rediscover the activities you both loved. It could be what attracted you to each other in the first place.
You can also try some new things together. For example, you can decide to attend music or dancing lessons with your boyfriend.
Learning together allows you to depend on each other, creating a new level of intimacy. Besides, you will learn new skills together that help you grow your individual selves.
7. Take Charge of Spicing the Relationship
If you think that your boyfriend is boring, you can decide to spice the relationship up. The best way to bring back the thrill is by being spontaneous. Introduce new ideas now and then to break the monotony.
How about a change of roles when you are spending time together? He is the one who drives whenever you go out. Take on the wheel and let him sit back and relax.
Surprise him with a date night. Discover your fantasies and bring back the excitement in your sex life. Try different dressing styles from what you wear. If he loves homemade food, try out a new menu together.
8. Create New Traditions
Every couple has their way of doing things. Check what works for you and create traditions out of it. For instance, you can plan to have a date night every month. This will give you a chance to create new memories for the relationship.
If you frequent one dating spot, try different places for each date. Exploring different varieties of food can also bring new excitement into the relationship.
9. Encourage Him to Try New Things
If your boyfriend is boring, he may be in a comfort zone. Nudge him out of it. Please do not assume that your boyfriend knows what he wants. Instead, help him figure out his next course of action.
For instance, has he ever told you that he has an interest in a new career? Rekindle the discussion and encourage him to pursue it.
Ask leading questions such as “What steps do you think you can make towards your career goal?”
Getting him out of his comfort zone is difficult and might take time. But when he starts living his dreams, he will have a more positive outlook.
10. Read the Unspoken Cues
Your boyfriend may be trying to communicate something else. His love language may be different from yours, so he seems boring to you. In this case, try to figure out how he treats you from other girls.
Or it could be that he is no longer interested in the relationship. But he does not have the guts to tell you that he is no longer into you..
So, he is trying to send some subtle signs by retrieving from the things you both used to enjoy. In this case, breaking up will be the better solution for both of you.
Final Thought
Every relationship has a boring patch especially if you have been together for some time. But trying to understand your boyfriend can help you pass the phase.
It would be best if you were intentional about making the relationship exciting. Rekindle the memories and rediscover yourself. Sometimes all it takes an initiative to make things better.
But if you find that your boyfriend is okay with his boring behavior, it could be time to let go. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life in a relationship that does not excite you.
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