Do you feel like you and your boyfriend have nothing in common? Do you have difficulty planning dates because you cannot agree on what to do? Are your hobbies and circles of friends opposite? You are not alone.
Having someone opposite to you is exciting at first, but the excitement may end as the relationship becomes more serious.
For example, I have dated people who were the opposite of me. But after some time, the relationship dies down because we have nothing in common and nothing to talk about.
Opposites attract, and the relationship will be exciting if you are dating someone with whom you have nothing in common. However, your relationship can go differently from how mine went.
You can find ways to work around the differences and make the relationship the best one you have had and possibly lead to marriage.
Suppose you have nothing in common with your boyfriend and want to make the relationship work.
You can find a middle ground that helps you have different lives but have the relationship work.
This article will help you with tips to find a middle ground to help your relationship work even if you have nothing in common.
1. Communicate With Your Partner
According to Darcy Sterling, a licensed clinical social worker in New York, communication is the foundation of any relationship.
A significant indicator of a healthy relationship is the extent to which the partners can express their needs and preferences.
Talking to your partner if you feel like your relationship is not going in the right direction is th best way to make things work.
If you have trouble communicating with your partner, you may be headed for rockier grounds down the road.
If you feel you have nothing in common with your boyfriend, the first thing to do is communicate your fears with him.
You cannot solve this alone; you need to communicate and involve your partner to get a lasting solution.
While communicating with your partner, ensure you have good communication.
Sarah Epstein, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Philadelphia, says, “Good communication clarifies problems and creates closeness between partners, while poor communication intensifies issues and creates distance between partners.”
2. Remember Why You Got Together
Sometimes having nothing in common with your partner can be quite frustrating. You have something in common with your partner as much as you cannot see it.
There must be something that brought you two together in the first place.
Think back to what you saw in each other. What about your boyfriend did you like when you first met? What did you see in him that made you see yourself?
Sometimes people find themselves in relationships through mutual attraction. If you think back and all you can think is he is hot, and I am hot too, that’s okay.
However, it would be best if you worked to make the relationship work and find other things you may have in common. A relationship based solely on attraction may fail if nothing more binds you.
Dig deep and know what you saw in your partner in the beginning and capitalize on that. It is important to know that it is not all the time you love someone who you are compatible with.
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3. Get New Activities To Do Together
You may have nothing in common or different tastes with your boyfriend, but you can change that. Look for new hobbies you can do with them that you are yet to try.
For example, you can try playing a game, rock climbing or a new hobby that may appeal to both of you.
If you have frequent activities together, you will find something that you both enjoy and keep the relationship fire going.
If nothing else, you will have fun and spend time with your partner. You may also make more friends who you find fun to hang out with when you are together.
One of the mistakes we make as ladies is to pick up a hobby that our boyfriends are interested in.
If you feel you have to work extra hard to make this work. Let it go. The idea is to get something fun and not work. If the effort is one-sided, it is not worth it.
If you create a habit of doing new things together, you may stumble into something you both have in common and enjoy doing together.
4. Find Passions or Interests That You Share
A happy relationship is one of the best things you can have. Your boyfriend should be your support system and your friend. If you have nothing in common, it may take a toll on both you and the relationship.
Some people believe you should be able to do everything with your partner and never get bored; this is, however, not the case for some people.
So if you feel like your relationship is getting boring because you have nothing in common with your boyfriend, worry not.
You can spark the fire by getting things you are passionate about and doing them together.
If you are still looking for something you are both passionate about, look back to the beginning of the relationship. What shared interests, same values and passions did you have?
Go back to doing those same things, that brought you together. It is quite scary to feel like you are drifting apart from your partner.
But all is not lost. For instance, try to go to concerts together if you met at a concert. You may not have the same interests, but you can accommodate each other.
Alternate the concerts, today you go to the ones he likes, the next time you go to the ones you like.
You never know; you might find your taste in music changing in the process and start enjoying each other tastes in music.
I sometimes feel like I do not have anything in common with my boyfriend. He is an extrovert, and I am an introvert. He likes going to clubs, and I am a couch potato.
So I try to make a compromise once in a while; I go to a quieter club with him, and sometimes he snuggles on the couch with me, watching a chick flick.
A relationship does not have to fail if you do not have things in common. Talk with your boyfriend and find a middle ground.
Identify same interests and do more of them, this will ensure you are both spending time together.
For example, my boyfriend and I like watching soccer; we even support the same team. However, he prefers watching the game in the club with the boys, while I prefer watching at home.
Sometimes I go with him and enjoy the game; sometimes, he sits at home with me and watches the game. All you have to do is talk and find what works for you.
5. Get Something To Look Forward To
Being in a relationship for some time may make you feel like you have nothing in common with your partner. However, one of the best things to bring you two together is having something to look forward to.
Plan for a date or a holiday together. Having something to look forward to will help you be closer to each other. It also gives you something to talk about.
Romantic getaways should not stop because you have been together for a long time or even married. You should always have something to look forward to keep your relationship thrilling.
The good thing about dates is that they can be cheap.
So if you have a little money to spare, you can plan to visit a new restaurant in town; Or go to a museum or watch an art opening, depending on your interests.
My boyfriend and I spend less time together due to the nature of work schedules and our jobs, but we plan a date at least every two weeks.
In addition, we try to go for walks every Sunday and cook dinner together at least once a week. These small activities make me look forward to the day.
6. Find A Hobby You Share
When you have different interests and hobbies with your boyfriend, you may start to feel disconnected as you are not spending quality time together.
Find a hobby you both can share—finding a hobby you like may take some brainstorming.
So, sit with your partner and explore hobbies you can do together; this may take a while as it is a trial-and-error experiment. The best thing is you will spend quality time with your partner.
Sharing a hobby is not necessary for a relationship but having at least one shared hobby is a plus for any relationship as you get to see your partner in their element.
Also, most people bring out the child in them when having fun, which is good for your relationship.
Get some hobbies you can do together to strengthen your relationship.
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Why Doesn’t It Matter If You Have Nothing in Common with Your Boyfriend?
Sometimes you fall in love with someone opposite to you. Having someone you have nothing in common with can be a deal breaker for some, while others find it fulfilling.
You can have a fulfilling relationship even if you have nothing in common with your boyfriend. For some couples, the differences are a strength.
Many people are in relationships where they are different from their partners. For instance, we have seen musicians marry football players, and the relationship works as opposed to those who married their fellow musicians.
Here is why people who have nothing in common have the best relationship.
They Complement Each Other.
When you are different from your partner, you complement each other. For instance, with my boyfriend, I feel safe in public because I do not have to keep a conversation going; he has me covered as an extrovert.
When you are different, you compensate for the other partner’s weaknesses. You also get to help each other out.
For instance, I like cooking but hate doing the dishes, and my boyfriend does not mind doing the dishes, which makes for easy balancing of chores.
It Helps You Discover New Things.
When you have nothing in common with your boyfriend, he will help you discover new things. He will introduce you to a new world you never thought existed or may have just existed in books and movies to you.
My boyfriend has introduced me to new music that I never thought I would listen to. I have grown to love the music and have grown my playlist. Having an open mind helps you discover new things and learn.
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Love Is the Most Important Thing
When you have differences with your boyfriend, you need to be open, understanding, and have acceptance.
Be ready to see the world through each other’s eyes. It would help if you were prepared to understand and accept each other the way you are.
For instance, I need a lot of me-time, and my boyfriend is the person who likes to be in contact with you constantly.
He wants to play and touch you every time he is around you. I understand this is his love language and accept it.
However, he also understands and accepts that I need my me-time and gives it to me as much as he can.
This shows me that he loves me, which is all that matters to me. Without love, we would not be able to accept each other.
Can a relationship work if you have nothing in common?
Yes, A relationship with a lack of same interests can certainly be successful, but it requires open-mindedness, patience, and a willingness to work through challenges.
While some may argue that common ground is essential for a relationship to flourish, others believe that differences can bring excitement and novelty to a partnership.
Having same interests can foster intimacy and a sense of connectedness. It provides an opportunity for partners to engage in activities together and creates a shared experience to bond over.
However, on the other hand, differences can challenge partners to expand their horizons, learn from each other, and grow in ways they never would have otherwise.
It may also necessitate a greater effort to find new shared experiences and to maintain a sense of closeness despite the differences.
In short, a relationship without common interests can be successful, but it requires effort, compromise, and a strong commitment from both partners.
Final thoughts on My Boyfriend And I Have Nothing In Common
Take the steps above to make your relationship work. But, first and most importantly, communicate with your partner, and spend meaningful time together.
Communication is the cornerstone of all relationships; you must communicate to build lasting relationships.
However, having nothing in common with your boyfriend is not a deal breaker. You can have a long-lasting happy relationship.
Having differences help you discover new things and complement each other. All that matters is that you love each other.
Be yourselves; as long as you have love, you will make it work.
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